Dear new mom
Some encouraging words for this new chapter in your life from a veteran mom.
Dear new mom
It’s an utter
miracle, what you’ve done. That shock of dark hair. Those tiny, reaching hands.
Even though I’ve been there three times before myself, I still found your
achievement to be a wonder, a marvel.
Today, you’ll go
home with him. I’m thinking about all that means for you because I remember
what it meant for me.
Allow me, if I
may, to offer some advice. Not because I think I know better than you. You’re
the best person for the job of caring for him. You’re not a “new” mom. You’re a
mom now, just like us “veterans”, who had their babies 100 years ago. Don’t let
anyone tell you differently. I offer you these tips because I remember being
there. And some days, it feels like you’re the only one in the world to have ever
experienced these things. Some days, you wish there was someone who understood.
Read more: How much does a baby cost in the first year?
On that first
day at home, you’ll wonder if he’s sleeping too much. Whether you’re holding
him too much. Whether he’s getting enough milk. I remember bringing Kid1 home,
placing him in his car seat in the middle of the lounge, and thinking, “what
now?” You won’t be the first to experience that. He’s here now. He’ll sleep and
feed and poop and you’ll spend hours just gazing at each other. And you’ll both
be just fine.
This is just the
beginning of days, and months and years upon years of enjoying him. Watching
him “wake up” to the things around him. Being a witness to him soaking up
everything that there is to learn about the world around him.
There’ll be days
when he won’t stop crying. I remember that feeling of guilt. Or was it sadness?
Or maybe it was frustration. I still can’t identify the feeling that overtakes
you when he’s crying and crying and you can’t make it stop. You’ve fed him,
you’ve changed him, you’ve burped him. He’s warm and comfortable. But still he
Know that those
days will be interspersed with days when you’ll feel completely on top of it
all. When he’ll have slept for hours, and he’s content and you’re feeling like
you can take on the world.
Those days and
nights of ceaseless crying will end. He’ll grow and you’ll grow.
You know what he
needs and how to care for him. Even when you feel like you don’t know, you’re the
best person for the job. You’re the expert. And when you don’t know, there is
Read more: My online tribe
There’s always a
tribe. Of women who have babies now, or women who’ve had their babies long ago
and are willing to help. Whether by chatting to you online, or being there to
hold him while he cries and cries and you cry on their shoulder - your tribe is
out there, waiting to help. The best ones are there without your having to ask.
Go out in search of that tribe. You’re not alone.
Dear new mom.
You’re standing on the edge of something astonishing. You’re taking a deep
breath and starting a journey that will last as long as you have breath. Savour
every tiny moment. You’ve got this.
Do you have any advice for new moms? Send them to us at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will share them with new moms.