The 'mommy wars' aren't about winning but becoming more aware, suggests Shannon.
My husband told me the other day that I need to stop talking about parenting so much. “But I’m so good at it!!” I said.
That didn’t go down so well…
But the truth of the matter is that I really do believe it! The fact is, we all think that our parenting style is the right way.... and that’s perfectly okay. That’s the way it should be. We have to be 100% confident that our parenting style is the right one, otherwise how would we possibly cope with being a parent?
Confident parenting is no threat
When it comes to sleep training and smacking, breastfeeding and co-sleeping, we all have strong opinions. We all feel that our way is the best and that a different way can’t be as good. Don’t deny it. The most recent Similac advert was hugely praised for ending the mommy wars, and bringing moms together. While on the surface the message is great, on a different level I embrace the mommy wars. I embrace our differences and the fact that we are all so proud of our parenting and proud of the decisions that we have made, that we are willing to fight for it.
I am not advocating that we go to war and engage in a battle of nasty words and name calling. I am asking this: Let’s embrace our differences, let's show our children that despite our different views and opinions, we are able to work as a team to raise the next generation. When it comes down to it, we are all doing our best. We all want to raise good, kind and strong children.
I have spent hours fruitlessly arguing on social media about the evil I see in smacking and sleep training. It is pointless, I realize that now. My way is not the only way or the best way, it is just MY way. Yet having said all of that, I will still argue with mothers that parent differently from me. I am steadfast in my choices, just as they are. I embrace a good discussion, even a heated one. I love it. I love nothing more than a good difference of opinion.
Different approaches, same goals
Motherhood is tough. We are bombarded with a variety of different opinions and ideas daily, how are any of us meant to know which one is right? How could anyone? There is no way to prove that my way is better than yours. All we can do is follow our gut and hope for the best. By staying strong and sticking to our guns, and listening to what others say, even if it is not what we believe, I think that we will all be better parents and raise better, more open minded children. Next time you find yourself getting hot and bothered on an online forum, perhaps listen to the person. Listen, but don’t feel that you need to concede defeat. Let’s be open to HEARING other opinions. It is our differences that make us a force to be reckoned with. Moms, let us embrace the mommy wars, and learn from them!
Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.
Have you ever fallen out someone over a parenting issue?