Toddler on a plane
The horror movie started at take off for this mom of a toddler.

Step aside snakes, I have a horror film plot line that would scare anyone. The title is: Toddler on a Plane.

Picture the scene: After a lengthy delay in Durban, we’re strapped in and ready to head home to Cape Town. ‘Cabin crew prepare for take-off’ heard over the intercom. And then something else is heard.

 ‘Poo!’ Jo declares proudly, ‘Big ‘un!’

Nasty looks from cabin crew are not a patch on the nasty smell from the nappy as I sprint down the aisle to the toilet cubicle. I wrestle the door closed, changing mat down, Jo onto changing mat. Open nappy bag and search.

No nappies. Not even a tiny one four sizes too small forgotten at the bottom of the bag. Nada. We’d been so delayed in Durban we’d used them all. ‘Please,’ I plead, ‘Let it be a solid one.’

The Patron Saint of Excretion must have been working overtime because I am blessed with a monstrous rock cake. I won’t go into detail but I deal with situation best I can and gun it back down the aisle, strap us into the seat and spray Jo’s bum area liberally with my Good Stuff perfume I normally reserve for date nights and the like.

Taxing down the aisle. Jo starts coughing. A tiny cough turns into a bigger cough. Which out of the blue turns into a monstrous puke. It goes everywhere. Everywhere. Puke packets fly over the seats from behind and in front of us. I accept them all.

I strip Jo to his (still partially dirty) nappy, wipe him down and open the baby bag to search for the change of clothes I know I forgot to put in there. The clothes don’t materialise, I guess I only get one miracle per flight.

So we have a naked baby in a dirty nappy, and we haven’t even left the ground. It’s going to be a long flight.

Have any toddler on a plane horror stories? Share them in the comment box below!

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