Trust kids’ intuition
If your child doesn’t trust someone, they’re often right.
When I started dating again after the birth of my first child I found myself hesitating.
I’m not talking about a consensual shag with someone you’re probably never going to see again. I’m talking about meeting someone you find attractive and wish to pursue a possible relationship with.
It’s a weird situation, well it was for me anyway. I’ve never had any second thoughts about who to get involved with. Like most guys, you’re attracted to a woman, you go out on a few dates, you swop bodily fluids for a while and then you both expose your true selves and, boom, it’s either over or it’s the start of something wonderful.
After Hannah’s arrival I started looking at potential dates in a whole new light. What would my daughter think of her? Children are born with innate intuition where they are able to sense good and bad just by being in the same room with someone. And as they get older they lose this sense or rely on it less.
I experienced Hannah’s sense of it in a very real way one day when I was visiting a lady friend whom I was considering having a relationship with (this was about two years after Hannah was born). The neighbour had a delightful little girl of about 4-years-old, and soon Hannah was playing outside with her. Not long after, I heard Hannah let out an almighty scream. I rushed outside to find her screaming at a man who was trying to help her up after she had tripped and fallen. This was extremely bizarre to me, ‘cos the guy who was trying to help her was her new friend’s dad. He seemed like a perfectly respectable sort. But Hannah wouldn’t go near him and she screamed like a banshee (again very unusual for her) until I picked her up.
A few weeks later I discovered that the guy who was trying to help her was indeed a nasty piece of work who was involved in violent criminal activities. A few months later his wife left him after discovering that he had been having an affair with her best friend. Suddenly Hannah’s reaction made sense. She got on pretty well with the lady I was dating and we had some fun times.
Since then I’ve been very alert and aware of Hannah’s reaction when in the presence of adults, men or women. She’ll either rush up to them and jump into their arms, or politely greet and steer clear of them. Her reaction has often informed my decision and it’s been spot on about 95% of the time.
Though I’ve noticed that as she’s gotten older, her reaction is sometimes tempered with her own agenda. But when they’re two-years-old they aren’t able to include the conniving factor in yet. Maddison is easy, she just ignores you like dirt if she doesn’t like you. It’s a bit embarrassing when I have to remind her to greet so and so and she calmly replies “I don’t want to dad” and walks on.
Have you picked up on your kid’s intuition yet?
Read more by Marlon Abrahams