Women need kids ‘for training’
The SA president claims single women are a problem and having kids gives women 'extra training'.
By Scott Dunlop
According to this Tweet by @RediTlhabi : 'Zuma says being single (4 women) is a problem& it's good 4 women to have kids cos "it gives them extra training" Happy Women's Month ladies' (sic).
That’s President Zuma, allegedly making the remarks whilst being interviewed on a lifestyle TV show. Without focusing on the ‘being single is a problem’ part of his statement, let’s take a look at his opinion that 'it’s good 4 women to have children cos it ‘gives them extra training'.
All women are born with the innate desire to have kids, right? As a man, it’s impossible for me to say exactly how women think, but I’d hazard a guess that many women choose to remain child-free, or are without kids as a result of various circumstances. Untrained women, obviously.
I’m no expert on parenting (or the particular choices or circumstances which lead up to it happening or not); I am mystified by the assertion that having kids offers 'extra training'. I believe that life offers plenty of training on its own, and that women are entirely capable of choosing for themselves whether or not to procreate.
- To those of you reading who, despite having memorised The Notebook or having forgiven your ex-boyfriends for being idiots, are now single; unfortunately you’ll not be on the receiving end of any presidential awards.
- To those who have struggled with infertility or blown all of your savings on horrifically expensive fertility treatment, you won’t be complete until you have that kid.
- If you have decided that the world has enough children, or that you don’t think you’d be very good mom, or if you enjoy your lifestyle as a businesswoman or you’d rather have a dog than a child, then unfortunately you’ll never have that ‘extra training’.
- If you’re a lesbian and you don’t want to go through surrogacy or the rigours of the adoption process, I’m afraid you also don’t make the grade.
- If you just can't afford to have a child, or you dread inflicting the state of education in SA on a kid, then you've just not accepted the challenge.
- Maybe you've been on the receiving end of dreadful medical care and lost a baby, one of 50 out of every 1000 live births who don't make it to adulthood, according to stats, and you can't face risking another pregnancy...
You're woman enough
So before you go on a government-mandated baby-making drive, please be released from any pressure to have babies. Whether at some point in the future you’d quite like a kid, but don’t have one now, or if you never want kids, or even if you actually have one or two at the moment, all of those situations are acceptable and should bear no reflection on your femininity, wholeness or contribution to society.The popular slogan 'A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle', Irina Dunn/Gloria Steinem, does not need to be amended to read 'A woman needs a man and a child like a fish needs a bicycle and a pack of tricycles'.
Of course, if you are a happily married mom, then consider yourself ‘trained’.
Do you think that a woman needs kids in order to be complete?