Trying to rebuild a business from scratch has taken its toll on the family, this dad feels.
My name is Andrew and I am 36 years old, I am married with 2 daughters, aged 13 and 9. I had my own business since 1998 and worked from home, my wife helped me in the business for a few hours a day. May last year our lives changed, I was taken for a ride by my partner and we lost everything: house, cars, furniture, EVERYTHING, we ended up having to move in with my mother-in-law.
My wife and I moved into the flat of the house with my children and mother who has been staying with us since my father passed away (about 4 years now).
My wife found a job immediately and I was battling to find some employment, I received a salary of R36 000 a month from my own company and could only find a job that pays R7 000, I had massive debts left over from my collapsed business, about R600 000.
A very good friend suggested that I start something again as I must not view what happened as the end of the road. Easier said than done, the economy is doing very poorly and I know how hard it is to start a business from nothing, having nothing.
Then there is the family to worry about, my oldest is having some major problems and I feel as though I am responsible for that because my previous business failed.
I have always traded the Stock Market as a hobby and a friend suggested that I start teaching people to trade and help them change their lives as I have, I started trading the Stock Market again and within 4 months we were able to move out into a nice house and start our lives over again. Then came the decision which I think was a mistake.
I stopped trading and decided to use my capital to start advertising my services and training, I would like to change people’s perception about the Stock Market and show them that you can become a day trader and change your life. Well it has been 3 months now and I have not signed up a single client, nothing. I want to teach and show people what I do but at the moment people do not have the R15 000 for my course and software.
I have put my family back where we were.
I am supposed to be the father and provider but all I provide is financial trouble. If my wife was not working we would probably be getting our food from charity groups, as no income for 4 months with no savings to fall back on has been tough.
My wife is amazing, she catches 2 buses to get to work, and she leaves at 5:40 and returns home at 18:15 every day. She never complains or moans about anything. She is my rock and my friend and I love her endlessly.
We all miss the days of our old life, eating out, movies and all the rest. Now it is stay home and watches the walls. My children are the ones that are suffering because of my decision and I hate it when we go anywhere and me - the father - has to say no to everything.
‘Daddy can we have a sweet?’ – NO
‘Daddy can we have a chocolate?’ – NO
‘Can we go visit Granny?’ – NO, we simply do not have any money.
I know that starting a business is tough but in these times it is tougher than usual and I can swear on that. I will never give up and I will never surrender, I will get back to where I was a few years ago no matter what it takes.
A Father, Daddy and Husband has a duty, love his family no matter what and provide for his family no matter what.
Never give up, I will NOT.
*Surname withheldDo you agree that fathers have a duty to provide?