Stuck in the negative? Get excited about the things they excel in.
Imagine the scenario: your child comes home with their school report with an A, four Bs and an F. What are you naturally inclined to focus on?
If you're like most parents, you would probably ask questions about the F. Questions such as: Why did you do so badly? Were there problems with the teacher? Do you need extra lessons? How can you do better next time?
As for the A, most children will certainly be encouraged, and perhaps asked to keep up the good work, but very few will be asked questions about what they did well in. Questions such as: Why do you enjoy this subject so much? What makes you do well? What other aspects of this subject excite you and how can we bring more of that into your life?
In the long run, children don't make their biggest contributions in life in their areas of weakness. Children overcome weaknesses, but they rarely excel in them or end up building their lives' work around activities that make them feel depleted.
By focusing primarily on areas of weakness we are forcing our children to continually strive to improve in areas where they are weakest, while ignoring their areas of strength. Would it not make more sense to build on the activities that make them feel strong? What are strengths?
Strengths are things that excite and energise your child while they are doing them. They quite literally make him or her feel 'strong'. Weaknesses on the other hand leave them feeling depleted.Signs of a strength
-- your child is successful in this area and other people often tell him that they have a gift for this activity. Where is your child naturally talented?Instinct
-- she often finds herself volunteering for this kind of activity and it is something she would love to do every day. What does your child tend to do with his or her free time?Growth
-- your child grows quickly in this area of activity. He picks it up really fast and finds himself thinking about it often. He or she can't wait to learn more about it. What does your child ask lots of questions about? What is he keen to learn more of?Needs
-- it fulfills a personal need. She always look forward to doing this type of activity and doing it gives her a great sense of personal satisfaction. When does your child seem excited? What tends to make her happiest?
To sum it all up: When they do it, they feel effective (S of SIGN). Before they do it, they actively look forward to it (I of SIGN). While they are doing it, they feel inquisitive and focused (G of SIGN) and after they've done it they feel fulfilled (N of SIGN).
The more you focus on what your child is good at, the more she can improve in the areas where she is strongest.Do you tend to pick on your child’s weaknesses instead of supporting their strengths?