Expecting too much from your child
It is completley normal and appropriate for parents to hope that their children find success and fulfillment in their endeavours, whether those are social, cultural and academic. But sometimes, this expectation can go too far.
It is completely normal and appropriate for parents to hope that their children find success and fulfillment in their endeavours, whether those are social, cultural or academic.
It’s our job to help our kids develop the skills they need. But how much is too much? Almost any parent would value happiness over achievement, but the two have somehow become entangled. The relationship between external success, recognition and a sense of self-worth has become too close for comfort.
Therapists’ offices are full of people who feel worthless – do we want our children to join their ranks?
The feeling that “my child has to succeed” is often linked to a concern that someone else is doing better. Success is measured against other people’s achievements and that sets up an unhealthy form of competitiveness.
The things that we love about our children – their humour and humanity, their kindness and creativity, the hundreds of little things that combine to make them unique and wonderful people – have nothing to do with whether they are the best readers or the fastest bowlers in their classes. More important is that a child feels loved and special not for what he does or has or wins, but for who he is.