Papa the polygamist
Surely having more than one wife has to affect the quality of parenting?
So our beloved President has gotten married, again, for the 5th time.

Congrats, Mr President, we wish you many nights of happily married bliss, sincerely. Why anyone would want the drama of more than one female of the species is beyond me. Look at all the kak it got Tiger into! Anyway, I’m trying to imagine being a child of the president, there’re 18 of them apparently…

I’m really not being facetious here, something many of you have accused me of (including my beloved editor) but seriously how does it work in polygamist societies?

The closest thing I’ve come across as an explanation is how it works in the wild, where the big daddy male lion, sires several lionesses. He keeps the hyenas and other males away, while the mamma lions hunt for him, and provide sons and daughters by the bucket load. It seems to work fantastically well for the lions.

Could it be that this ancient African king of beasts was the role model for JZ’s choice of lifestyle? However it must be said, the African lion is not exactly the animal kingdom’s finest parental role model.

Which brings me back to JZ. Shame man, he has to try and make sense of this deliciously volatile country of ours, then he has to go home and satisfy his wives, tell the kids bedtime stories, help them with their homework etc.

So you go to a family gathering and there are all these mammas and one big pappa. Do the kids get equal quality time from dad? Do they all know their place, is there some kind of hierarchy relating to the kids. I mean, do they have to take a number and wait for pops to call for them?

Overheard at the wedding: ‘There’s cousin Bongani, oops no, he’s my brother, no, no, hold on, his dad’s bastard from a previous indiscretion… Hmmm who’s that delicious bit of crumpet? Oh my gosh, it’s my sister, what the hell is her name again? And that puffed up peacock, he’s the first born isn’t he? Hmmm I guess we’ll have to arrange a little accident before he ascends to the throne…’

Now I am being facetious, but seriously can it be as confusing to the kids as this? Or do they just naturally know their place and how to interact, since it’s something they are born into, despite the rest of the civilized world bar a few Arab enclaves and a Mormon town or two having decided that the one woman is quite enough stress for one lifetime?

From where I’m standing it doesn’t look like it could be a whole lotta fun for the kids, especially trying to establish a strong bond with dad…

Can a polygamist be a good father? Comment below.

Read more by Marlon Abrahams

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