Don’t let the pressure of ‘special days’ get in the way of your relationship, says single dad Marlon.
Hannah was in a toestand ‘cos she was going away for a mini-break with her grandparents, taking advantage of the public holiday before Father’s Day. She was upset that she would not be spending the ‘big day’ with me.
I think when you’re a single parent
, divorced parent, or if you just have an unusual parental relationship, these ‘significant’ days become more important to you. However, I explained to Hannah that we did not need a special day to celebrate Father’s Day and that I was perfectly happy to create our own Father’s Day the following weekend. First she thought this was radical and a bit crazy because ‘how can you just create your own Father’s Day?’
Well that’s just the thing. Parenting is a 24/7
365-days-a-year job and every single day is Father’s Day or Mother’s Day, parenting day or children’s’ day. I know it’s a bit presumptuous to expect us to celebrate every single day as a significant focus of our parental duties
, but I hope you get the gist of my meaning.
We often place too much emphasis on these ‘man-made’ commercially driven ‘special days’ and if we miss out on them for whatever reason, we tend to beat ourselves up about it.
Why? Why not create your own special day? Which is exactly what Hannah’s come up with to compensate for missing out. This coming weekend we’re having DD-Day; ‘Daddy Daughter Day’ and I have a feeling it’s going to be just as special, if not more, than Father’s Day.The stress of special days
Parents and kids have enough stress and drama to contend with than to feel undue pressure about conforming to commercialized special days. There’s the converse argument of-course that many of us only do the necessary bare minimum on these days, because we actually feel pressure to do so on the day.
If you sent your dad another mass-produced card, or the same old boring socks again this Father’s Day, just think about it.
Wouldn’t it be a whole lot more significant to him and probably to you too, if you surprised the heck out of him a week before, or a month even, with an unsolicited expression of your love and appreciation for him?
There’s nothing wrong with celebrating the ‘commercially driven’ special days, but let’s not become guilt-ridden because we can’t be with our loved ones on the day due to legitimate reasons.
Be creative; invent your own special day with your kids. It will not only teach them to think out of the box, it will also instill in them the knowledge that they never have to conform to mass marketing ploys of commercialism.
In the long run it will probably go a long way in making them realize that the only thing that really matters is the individuality of the nature of their love for their dad and other significant others. Hope your day was special!Do you think commercialized ‘special’ days are important?
Read more by Marlon Abrahams
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