Abuse in our home
This reader shares his personal abuse story.
I have no idea when it started but for about 3 or 4 years my sister and I were sexually abused by my eldest brother. My sister being 2 years younger than what I am. I don't know where to start but I feel it's time that I told a larger audience, just maybe I'd be helping someone.
My brother is the most conniving individual I've known to date. At night when everyone had gone to bed, he would come to our room (my sister and I shared) and have his way with either one or both of us. I use to wonder, can my parents not hear, were they seriously that oblivious to it all. We use to travel a lot and when we were all at the back of the van he'd be getting his groove on.
There's one incident that haunts me to this day: My dad being the driver and me being placed on my brothers lap, right there, my dad not even an arms length away and my brother doing what he did.
I don't know how it came about but eventually my younger sister and I started talking and we then realized that it was both of us being abused, we then started having our "abuse" discussions, both naive and ignorant to all that's going on around us.
Now comes the part that I can't seem to live with, I started enjoying it but yet disgusted at the same time, I've never really dealt with this issue at all in my life. I'm now 32 years of age.
We (the whole family) saw a counsellor for about 3 sessions if not more, I can't really remember, all I know is that they were brief. Thereafter, it was never mentioned. I'm slowly but surely dealing with it in my own manner but I doubt that it'll ever suffice, I need to face my demons and probably seek professional help.
Basically what I'm saying is if this is happening to you, deal with it now and not later, don't hope for the best and think that things will eventually subside. It's stays with you, it holds you down, it's extra baggage that you could've left behind and moved forward much faster. Try to forgive that's my major problem... I can't let go and I can't seem to forgive... I'm slowly hurting myself. Please, don't do the same... Georgie