Adult relationships put kids at risk
"How do you raise and protect a child while the adults in his life behave like fools?"
This has been a VERY big weekend in my family. After 3 ½ years in a loving, stable, wonderful relationship, it is over. Just like that. One phone call. Now my 8 year old son is away with his dad for the weekend and is expecting to come home to a happy mom and a wonderful “step dad” who he loves and respects and always has great fun with. But he won’t. He will come home to a devastated mom and no stepdad. I have a massive job on my hands trying to protect him from the hideous pain I am feeling. How do you tell a child about these things? When his dad & I divorced, he was too young to really be impacted but 8 is such a formative age. I want to be honest with him and answer all the questions he may have but I so badly want to shield him. (If only someone could do the same for me) Do I cry to show how sad I am or do I smile to pretend how brave I am? How do you tell an 8 year old that the man we both adored chose to be with someone else? He will have so many questions and demand so many answers - none of which I have!
It’s so unfair and so painful on so many levels. The irony is that just as I was pondering how to broach this topic with my boy, my ex hubby arrived to bring my son home from their weekend together. He tells me after 3 years of being 100% single, he has met a woman with 2 kids and they all spent all weekend together. My ex is hoping this will become a serious relationship and decided it was time for the kids to meet. He tells me that our son’s reaction was "Oh well now you have these kids, you don’t need me anymore!" OUCH! Of course, my ex explained in great detail how it really works and that new friends or girlfriends can never replace a child.
So after hearing all about this, I am now even more terrified to have "the talk" with my son.
Are there any psychologists or parents out there who have any advice and how to raise and protect a great child while all the adults in his life behave like fools?
I would really appreciate some help here.- Anonymous