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'I'm an older mom'

I'm 41 and mother of a 3 1/2 year old daughter. We battled to get pregnant and after a lot of doctors and specialists we were told that we would never get pregnant without help. My husband had a less than 1% morphology rate. We had 2 artificial inseminations but it didn't work. But we persisted and used Ferti Boost together with hands full of other supplements, and after 4 1/2 years I fell pregnant naturally.

She is truly a gift from God. She is perfect and beautiful and I can't imagine my life without her.

My only regret is that I had her so late in life, as I feel I'm letting her down by not being there anymore when she might need me later in life. Thinking of it, I might not be there by the time she's 40. When she has children of her own and they won't have a grandma anymore. Or just the fact that by the time she's finished school, I'll be almost 60.

We are extremely close and I can just pray it stays that way. She's my whole life and I would do anything for her. We do bump heads everyday as she's very strong-willed (everybody says she takes after me!)

I never wanted to have children to begin with, as I always thought I don't have the patience or the money to look after a child. But by the time I was 32 my mind slowly changed and when we heard we couldn't have children, I became almost obsessed with it. They say if you're going to wait until you have enough money to have children, you will never have them, and it's true. You make a plan, you get through, you go without, and you spoil them rotten with all the cents you saved!

I still don't have much patience and get agitated quite easily, especially when she throws a tantrum (and she still does!), or starts crying and can't tell me why. Then I just leave her to cry it out a bit, before trying again to get to the bottom of this terrible heart ache! Most of the time it's something stupid, which really get on my nerves, but in the end we get through it.

I can't really say that she keeps me young though. Inside I still feel 16 sometimes, but the old body doesn't agree! I have aches and pains all over.. Sometimes I think I must be a terrible mother, but then I look at her and know that I'm just doing the best I can, and she'll be fine.

Would I do it again, having a child at this age? No, if it was at all possible I would have started earlier, but I don't regret having her at all.

To all the older mothers out there, I take my hat off to you. It's never an easy task to raise a child, not when you're young or old, as every age and every stage in your life has its complications.

Carina
 

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