Losing an unborn
This user shares his ordeal of losing an unborn child - From the father's perspective.
We were very excited, although Kegan/Claudia was not planned, we had informed all family and friends about the arrival of our second child. We went for our 16 week check up, and to try find out whether we were expecting a boy or a girl. The gynae, who we both trusted, looked very nervous, and we knew something was not right. Trying to find the heartbeat, and not seeing anything, looking for anything that resembled life....He asked if we could see another gynae very close to his practice. We were both tearfull although I tried my utmost to keep them in, and be strong for my partner. The second gynae confirmed that our baby was no longer alive. We wept.
After a consultation with our usual gynae, we left for home. Business, family, friends were all listed as missed calls.
We did not want to talk to anyone, and tried hard to avoid what had just happened, and what needed to be arranged. We arranged we would go in on the Monday for the operation, similar to c-section. This was tough for my partner, as she had to go through the same pains and emotions of a normal c-section, and afterward feel the emptiness inside her.
A week or so later, after the very personal news had travelled like an infection, and the entire town I had grown up had sent their best messages, I was angry. I was angry about people knowing, about people sending their condolences, about the whole idea of losing our child.
What I had to deal with was the feeling of extreme guilt, afraid that I had something to do with the death of our unborn. Having had sex with my partner prior to the event, and thinking I had gone to deep, as there was some bleeding afterward. The aftermath is we went and are still going through a very tough time in our relationship. Our sex lives has gone down the tubes, and this is my doing, as I feel it keeps me from ever going through this experience.
I hope this article allows the ladies out there to understand what their husbands/partners go through, although we don’t say much.