Who does what at our house
Are there really people who think that parents should have set roles defined by gender?
My husband does the grocery shopping and most of the cooking and is in charge of the dishwasher.
I do the childcare (bed time routine, weekend activities and so on) and anything to do with education and sport (including running next to the soccer field in pouring rain and attending all soccer and karate practices and paying for extra murals, we split school fees and after care half and half).
We both change light bulbs and pick up dog poo.
We both work for corporate companies (he works full day, I work half day) so we have a domestic worker twice a week who does washing and ironing and general cleaning but when she is on leave or sick, then we alternate the cleaning between us though I clean the bathrooms as he hates this and he empties the bins as I hate that.
We have a gardening service but he does all the planning around the garden. I tried to mow the lawn once but the mower was just too heavy for me.
My husband irons all his own clothes as he feels only he does it right. I will wear creased clothes if mine aren’t ironed, though I do give them a quick spin in the dryer to take the worse of the creases out and when our domestic worker is on leave I use a Laundromat to iron.
My husband has only changed two nappies in his life, but he happily supervises play dates and looked after my son overnight when he was a baby and I had to travel for work (and fed him bottles of expressed breast milk, as I breastfed until my son was a toddler).
When my son was a toddler I was taking a rare turn to cook and after reading story I told him I was going to cook supper. He looked at me and said “but mommies don’t cook”.
He’s six now I’m busy training him up for my future daughter-in-law (or son-in-law if he turns out to be gay), so he puts his clothes in the washing basket, makes his own bed and feeds our small dog (my husband does the big dog but if he’s going to be home late I feed him instead).
We don’t split things according to roles, its just evolved that way as we both do what suits us best and then split the yucky stuff between us by alternating. It works for us and we have very few arguments about household matters (except that my husband is obsessively neat and I like things scrupulously clean but don’t mind a bit of clutter).