The Finnbug goes to his first birthday party and his mommies aren't invited... the absolute cheek of it.
On Friday morning, Finn went to a birthday party without me. I wasn't there because I wasn't invited. Neither was Roxi.
Every morning Thandi pushes Finn to the nearby park where the
two of them chat to the other nannies and children, and feed bread to
the birds, I'm told. Despite my anxiety about Finn being wheeled around
out in the big wide world without my watchful eye, I am pleased that
both Finn and Thandi have something that gets them out of the house
each morning while Roxi and I are at work.
That was until last week. I returned home one afternoon to be
informed that while out at the park, Thandi and Finn had been invited
to Holly's first birthday party. A Cat in the Hat party in fact.
Frankly, I felt left out. I also wanted to go to a Cat in the
Hat party. I tried to find consolation from my mother. 'Finn's been
invited to a party... and I don't even know by whom!' I exclaimed. 'Ah
cute!' she exclaimed right back. 'I'm sorry, darling, but that's so
cute! A party all by himself without his mommies. What a big boy, he
is!' The mere mention of the word Finn reduces my mother to granny
My best friend, Cecilia, was more comforting. Being on baby
number two she has been through many the emotional minefield along
which I presently tread. And according to her, these parties are very
common and I should a) not feel left out because they can even be quite
boring, and b) not feel guilty because, let's face it, if I was staying
home looking after Finn, instead of Thandi, we wouldn't have been
invited in the first place.
I thought of forcing myself on the happy duo and going with
them but Thandi seemed so excited by the upcoming social event that I
felt I might ruin her fun. And also I'm on a deadline at work and don't
want to get fired all because of a Cat in the Hat party for some kid
I've never even clapped eyes on.
It's party time!
And so on Friday morning I put on my bravest face, made sure Finn had a
wrapped gift and a sun hat, and told them to both have a great time.
The whole morning I imagined Finn at the Cat in the Hat party, nestled
in Thandi’s somewhat larger bosom than my own, beaming at his new
friends, getting on with his life without me. By 11am I could take it
no more. I phoned. 'Hi Thandi, how's it going?' I asked casually.
Knowing my interest in detail Thandi was able to tell me that there
were 22 nannies, eight mommies, four grannies and two daddies in the
park. There were roughly four babies Finn's age, three of whom were
with their nannies although one had a granny. There were also
sandwiches, sweets, fizzy cooldrinks but no Kentucky Fried Chicken.
The real question, of course, was had Finn enjoyed his first
party without me? Well not exactly. Finn and Thandi had arrived just in
time for everyone to sing Happy Birthday. And when the 50 or so people
burst into Hip Hip Hooray, Finn burst out crying. Thandi had been
forced to remove yowling Finn from the fun and very shortly afterwards
he fell asleep... for the rest of the occasion.
And so it seems that, like me, Finn also missed most of the
party. Thandi was animated about her morning when I returned home and I
am genuinely glad that she is part of a supportive community. And if I
am very brave I can also admit that it is important that Thandi and
Finn have fun experiences together because it is vital that they bond.
I believe that the saying, a happy mommy, happy baby applies
just as much to happy nanny, happy baby when the happy mommy has to be
Has your baby been attending parties without you? What is the bond
like between baby and nanny in your household? Share your thoughts in
the comment box below.