@mr me - what a self-righteous, politically-correct, bottom-feeding little *ss-creeper you are! You take Tom's posts individually and out of context, and then presume to judge and pronounce sentence thereon. And then proceed to decide that, in case somebody ELSE takes you on, you're cutting the conversation. Well, it works for Julius Malema, so why shouldn't it work for you? Pathetic!

Hey all, Just wanted to get this off my chest. Some of the men / fathers who have commented on this article, particularly the boys over at F4J, try to wrap your heads around this: I am a single mom of 2 girls from 2 fathers. I was never married to either of them (thank my lucky stars) and now I am in the wonderful situation of being on the receiving end of the maintenance courts. I have a written agreement with Daddy number 1 which he has diligently stuck to for almost 3 years. Until 2 months ago, when for whatever reasons he decided he couldn't / wouldn't pay me anymore. No explanation, no warning, no payment. Joy. I have a court order against Daddy number 2, which he paid for one month and then decided not to pay. This child is 30months old and in her life he has contributed a whopping R1900 to her. He has also not seen her, by his own choice, in over a year. He is now 3 months in arrears on the court order, and there is backpay maintenance to the tune of R35 000 which he is making no effort to pay. So I went to the maintenance court and I filed a complaint and they issued summons. Then he moved house. And I had to hire detectives etc to find him at my expense. Then I phoned the court with his new address and they re-issued the summons. They also changed the court date and no-one bothered to inform me. So I arrive at court to be told that my new court date is the 13th May. By then he will be another month in arrears. Now tell me, why do these men deserve to see their beautiful children? Why should I sacrifice the little time that I get with them, to give their fathers access rights when their fathers clearly don't care enough to pay the maintenance? And where is the justice in the judicial system? They are the criminals and I am the one being shunted around and treated like the guilty party. Why is that?

Wow Tom, you are starting to sound very desperate to try and make an invalid point. Just for the sake of an argument. Instead of telling people to re-read your pathetic excuse of a " factual based argument" why dont you rather read it yourself? Maybe you will realise what a sad, lonely person you sound like? Good luck in finding another article to flap your trap at, whilst you no doubt make another complete idiot of yourself. Tom , I pitty you! and I dont even know you, how sad is that? Anyway, you really are boring me now with your useless drivel. Conversation over.

Thanks Scott. Yeah, I'm a bit sick of having this article be a soapbox for a cause. It wasnt about a cause. It was about my daughter. Simple.

OH. MY. GAWD! Who are these people and where do I make them stop? Cath (NOT CATHY!) - WTF chick - I love you, these people are insaaane - make them stop - make them gooo awaaay. I totally hear you - I have a night 'off' tonight - my daughter is at her dad (whom I also never married, yet we have a good relationship and share custody amicably - amazing that) - and I MIIISSS her so badly. Looove yooo. xxx

Oh dear, mr-me - so you're the idiotic type who seizes upon one sentence in a succession of interchanges, ignores the content and intention of all those exchanges except for small bits that, taken out of context, suit your petty agenda, and then proceeds to build a straw-man argument (look it up, and then re-read the ENTIRE discussion). Sadly, you're more suited to heckling at political 'debates' than discoursing in public on serious subjects about which you are as ill-informed as it is possible to be - and as sure as hell you're (note the spelling of that particular word) not suited to writing about your thoughts - such as you may occasionally be prevailed upon to produce independently, if not with any real spark of originality.

I, for one, thought it was a touching picture of a mother/woman dealing with the curious tension created between the challenges of parenting, and the way a mother can be fed emotionally by her child. Lovely, Cath. As an aside: Fathers for Justice: While your plight is very real, and the rights of the father are not equal, currently, in SA courts, perhaps you could limit your activism to the environments in which something will be achieved? The constitutional court could do far more for you, based on the Bill of Rights, than this mother, of whom you know nothing. Attacking random mothers can only dilute your credibility.

Oh Tom , dear me. You are the sensisitive type. Where do I begin.... Lets start with the Title of the piece shall we: EMPTY HOME, EMPTY HEART. wow, I can see how that smacks of bias toward single mothers and particularly points out the selfish nature of women in general. Moving on, lets have a look at the first paragraph, you coming Tom? Right, so now that we are here, lets have a good read: "When you’re the full-time go-to-for-everything single PARENT, that noise of a kid growing up is your life. And when they’re gone for their split-time with the other PARENT, that noise you know so well goes too." notice how I emphasise the word PARENT, I see no attack on single dads here, but please, point me out if I’m wrong. So, now, moving on. You still with me Tom? Cath then goes on to share her own emotions and mindset once her child has left her for the weekend. "I’m a fast-talking, workaholic single mama..Everything I do...to come home every day and be with MY little person. Again, no mention of a nasty dad is there? Instead, just wholesome lovin’ toward her child Now, lets skip along to the final paragraph " You’re also the most loving child anyone could ever wish for. You are missed more than you know when you’re not underfoot and I’m trying to fill up the silence you left behind." Now, if this had read " Mommy thinks your the most loving child..." or " Mommy misses you more than you know.." then you would have a leg to stand on here mate, but it doesn’t, and so you don’t. Instead, it points out how much this child is loved and missed, not only by her mother, but by everyone she knows or knows her. Then along came Tom... “What a can of worms you've opened up with your self-pitying little bout of snivelling, Cath” – Classy Tom, Real classy!! “One day, when you divorced women have finally grown up (if ever) you'll realise how selfish, petty, and just plain childish you are” “And you ex-wives ('mother' is too kind a word for you)” Tell me Tom, if your so desperate to share your views, why don’t you write your own article, presenting your very own “self-pitying little bout of snivelling”?

@mr-me - you sorry little excuse for a thinking human being. Are you SO incompetent in the use of the English language and it's rich nuances that you project your own insecurities and preconceptions on to others? The only 'trawler' I see here is you - sucking up to cath, trying to pretend you're a man. Here's a newsflash, little one - writing articles that are disseminated on a public forum such as this naturally open you to criticism, comment, and (from people like you) sycophantic pandering and politically-correct attitudes. If you can't take the heat (and cath has demonstrated that she actually CAN) then don't write for public consumption. Now, will you please go back to your sandbox and let the adults talk?

Tim, oh wait, sorry, Tom - so you openly admit that you fish around forums looking for people to pick on? The lady misses her daughter when she is not at home, simple. no more, no less. Please use quotations from the article offering YOU a gateway to start insulting people when you know absolutly nothing about them? You say you were "GIVEN" the oppertunity to talk absolute crap when cath "felt sorry for herself". Please , tell me who GAVE it to you?

@cath - ok, I'm NOT angry at you - you sound very much like the kind of woman we men would all like to have as an ex-partner, should we find ourselves in the position of being divorced with children. I did, however, take the opportunity to have a dig at vindictive ex-wives/partners THROUGH you - and let's be honest, feeling sorry for yourself in print (online) gave me the ideal opportunity to do so. So if you re-read my first line to you in that context, you'll perhaps understand what I was getting at - otherwise, ignore my first line (only) and take the rest as is. As for the rest of the ladies who actually ignore or belittle the pain of the men who expressed their pain and sense of loss on this forum, and label them as defensive or overreacting - well, let's just quote Billy Wikkelspies in his famous 'little pig' play and say "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."

Mr Me - thank you :)

Okay, Tom, we get your point but whats the strategy behind hinging it on my article? Cause the link is rather thin. Cath

@tertia - nope, until the playing fields are REALLY level, and men are granted custody as routinely as women are nowadays (and historically), your strident insistence that pro-men's rights activists should apologise for DARING to shine the spotlight on reality, and for taking up the cudgels on behalf of grieving fathers everywhere (re-read what most of the men wrote), is nothing but a diversionist strategy. I have no problem with Cath missing her child - but the article (accidentally) highlighted the fact that it's all very well for women to mourn their empty nests (and write about it) when the children are off for a short period with their daddies - with the grudging permission of the 'omnipotent' mothers - but for men to stand up and say "I HAVE BEEN DEPRIVED OF MY CHILDREN UNFAIRLY AND I AM ANGRY AND GRIEVING" seems to raise your hackles and bring out the attacking and defensive strategies you obviously 'do' so well. Fair's fair, as they say - but this particular situation is one where there is VERY little fairness with respect to the fathers out there and their rights. Why else would organisations like Fathers 4 Justice need to exist?

Tertia, thanks hon Tom, I don't have your email address. I got Gary's via the f4j website. Tom, I think you're taking your soapbox to the wrong place though. Seriously. Especially considering that im not a divorced parent. As for that, Catharsis, haha. Yes, I know. Catharsis, very funny. Not a new quip, that one. I just missed my kid. I love her. I deserve the name mother. I work very hard for it. I love having it and my daughters father deserves the name Dad just as much. I think, Tom, youre directing your anger at me because you dont know where else to put it. Good luck with finding a channel for it, and I'm glad that people have as passionate a person as you to stand up for their cause. I do think however, that I agree with Tertia. Your anger is misdirected at me... so I'll await your acknowledgement of that. Julia, thanks hon.

Tom- are you for real? The way you can psycho-analyze and decode this article is simply mind numbing. Do you do this with all literacy? Reading books as a child must have been awful for you. I wonder how you interpret " Peter pan"? Shame, I actually really do feel sorry for you.

I really enjoyed reading this article. I thought that it was beautiful and pure and honest. I am married and can relate somewhat cos my kids go to their grandparents every single holiday. I know about the silences and all that. I am not sure about these defensive men that are commenting. It would appear that they completely missed the point and are in turn directing their anger at the wrong person. Well done Cath. You write beautifully. xx

I haven't received the mail as yet, but yes, I agree with you, and I DO share your sentiments. Heck, what's WRONG with feeling sorry for yourself every once in a while? It's even considered to be healthy. Catharsis, and all that. But as I said, and I reiterate, you opened a huge can of worms in the process - as we saw from the guys who first commented. Of course, if you take exception to my noting the apparent tone of your article, that IS your prerogative - and you're welcome to take exception. Of course, this particular issue (divorced parenthood, where men are denied their rights as fathers by vindictive ex-wives/partners) is an issue about which it is almost impossible to stay neutral - and the principle reason is that as much as we all like to consider ourselves to be normal, rational, and reasonable human beings, who would always behave reasonably and maturely, the stresses and responsibilities, as well as the isolation of being a newly divorced single parent (face it - how many friends do divorced individuals really keep?), divorced individuals end up at one or other stage of their post-divorce existence behaving towards an ex in ways we cannot reconcile with what we believe we know of those individuals (especially females, who are supposedly softer, kinder, more nurturing, fairminded, and all the rest of those good things), and which we and they would never condone in anybody else. And so we sympathise, and bill and coo, make comforting noises, and forget conveniently that the little acts of 'well-deserved revenge' our lady friends are exacting on their exes actually have multiple victims, the most important and vulnerable of which are the children in the equation. And THAT is why my senses of justice and fair play are affronted - were the shoe on the other foot, and the ex-husbands playing the games women routinely get away with, all the women's organisations on earth would be baying for their blood. But for some reason, the principles of fair play and equality before the law are still not applied to men as they are to women - women are STILL considered (and take advantage of the fact) to be weaker and therefore deserving of more protection, this being the very foundation of the Paternalistic society we endured under the apartheid era, and which women supposedly fought tooth and nail to free themselves from. To paraphrase George Orwell's most famous quotation - "all divorced parents are equal, but the ex-wives are more equal than the others..."

Tom, how was any of this relevant or even remotely helpful in the context of Cath's article on how much she loves and misses her daughter, and I quote: "...your self-pitying little bout of snivelling, Cath!" "...when you divorced women have finally grown up (if ever) you'll realise how selfish, petty, and just plain childish you are..." "...you ex-wives ('mother' is too kind a word for you) are the ones who cause this situation to manifest and become unendurable for the man, and then use his only defence, short of going to jail for murder, to describe all men. SHAME on you!" I think you owe Cath an apology. And all the ex husbands and divorced fathers too, because you certainly have done them no favours by your attacking and derisive tone. It sounds like you have an issue with women in general if you can so easily assume, on so little evidence that all single woman are "selfish, childish and petty". Perhaps if we all had a little empathy and kindness to ALL parties involved, this kind of animosity wouldn't exist. As I said, I think you owe Cath an apology.

Well well, Gary, thanks for your comment. Yes, I know that the relationship I have with my childs father is rare, but its also hard-won, for both of us, but we love our daughter very much and thats what counts. I also wish people could remember that - and i dont just mean that in the context of seperated parents but within marriage/partnership too. By the way, I have emailed you Tom, for the record, I'm not bitter nor divorced. Never been married and dont intend to be either, thanks. You did direct your attack at me as you can see from your first comment but, hey thats okay... I'm happy to be considered snivelling because it means that I love my daughter. And if you think its snivelling, thats cool. I believe in working towards and within any relationship to all extents, that affect a child, so Tom, maybe I am that rare breed you speak of. The idea that I would be denied access to my child revolts me, so the idea that a father could be denied access without due cause, to his child is revolting. So, you see, we're on the same side here.. But, my point is, thats NOT what my little article was about. At all. Please read it from the perspective that I love my daughter and I missed her when she was away. Our pain is the same. Cheers.

Ladies, ladies, ladies - firstly, attemtp to clear your minds of all your preconceived notions and then re-read what I wrote. My comments are NOT (all) directed at Cathy herself - nowhere did I say "Cathy, YOU do x, y, or z". In fact, I specifically directed it at "you divorced women" - and obviously hit a nerve in the process. But the self-pitying tone of the article found resonance with a lot of men - who, I'm prepared to bet, are on the wrong side of a bitter ex-wife even as we speak. Nobody lobbied me to support their cause - just as I lobbied nobody. So what you're seeing, ladies, is a normal, general, everyday response of NORMAL fathers to the circumstances in which they find themselves, often through no deliberate fault of their own, and the fact that they are reviled and denied that which they most desire, and then decried as uncaring when they finally, for the sake of their own sanity, give up. Yes, the article IS a self-pitying snivel - but there's nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself now and then. And it was a nice(ish) article to read. But it WOULD be nice, once in a while, to come across an ex-wife - ANY ex-wife - who really behaved in real life the way you all portray yourselves on here: as loving, caring, considerate, and above all fair and supportive ex-spouses who put their children before their own feelings of rejection and worthlessness. Oh, and for the record, I don't have any issues - I'm quite happily married, thank you VERY much, to an intelligent, thinking and supportive woman who is not only a good mother, but also a successful career-woman. However, what you apparently mistake for 'issues' is my affronted sense of justice and fair-play - ALL the divorced men I know have horror-stories to tell involving access to their children, and it's probably quite fair to assume therefore that ALL of them have ex-wives who at least sometimes indulge themselves in childishly vindictive game-playing where the fathers and their children are the pre-ordained losers...

Dear Cath, I understand that you miss your daughter and I commend you for you and your ex in having a health Parent relationship so that your daughter has the best possibility of growing to be the most magnificent person that she could possibly be. I mistakenly read your article other wise and apologies for interpreting it thus. You are indeed a very rare mother in that based your comments in your response that you actively encourage the relationship between your daughter and her father. Very rare bread indeed. We as fathers also miss our children believe it or not and are belittled and destroyed emotionally, psychologically and financially for wanting to have the relationship that you have with your ex. The point I was trying to make to you and your readership and I apologies if it came any other way was that we would like to see the relationship that you have as the norm and not the exception as it currently is. I was also pointing out the inherent bias against fathers for just wanting that. We are looking to communicate and get to that point and move away from this he said she said scenario. As I said in my original closing we would like to engage you on this as equals not as opponents.

Woah! Hold on to your underpants boys, where in the above article did Cath bash her ex or bash fathers in general? Are we reading the same article? Because in the one I am reading (I assume we *are* talking about the one directly above this comment section, like as in - on this very page?), Cath talks about how much she misses her daughter when she is not around. No where does she say "my ex is an idiot" or "fathers should be denied access to their children" or anything like that. Tom, you are taking a HUGE leap of warped inference to suggest that Cath denies her ex access to her child, or that she is against fathers rights. As you can see, even though she misses her daughter, she wouldn’t dream of denying her time with her father. You have absolutely no idea what her relationship with her ex is like and yet you assume it is a bad one. What does that say about you? I think your own issues are shouting loudly, and to call Cath names and be so aggressive does your cause no good what so ever. I suggest you pack away your soap box and do your cause some good by lobbying in the right areas, not by attacking a young, single mom who speaks about her love for her daughter. And calling in all the friends to join in on the attacking frenzy? Not cool guys, not cool at all.

I don't know. Maybe I missed something. But a LOT of men who have commented on this article seem to be taking it very personally. Hello people. Cath is writing about the void she feels when her child has gone to Daddy. She is not slating Daddy at all. I too am a single mother of 2 beautiful angels. I was never married to the Daddies and as such I have made it my mission to be VERY clear on my rights as well as theirs, and those of the children. Neither of them pay maintenance and I recently made a decision to move out of town to pursue a better life for me and the girls. I do not feel that I owe the fathers anything as clearly they don't care. One hasn't seen his daughter in over a year. I am, however, very privileged in that their grandparents are AWESOME and I get a LOT of me time. No, I don't sleep late. No, I don't have wild parties or quiet me time. I wander around my house for hours looking for something to keep me busy. My life is my kids and when they are gone, there is NOTHING. I was alone for Easter weekend and I vowed that would not happen again. It was too long and too lonely without them. Sometimes I wish the father's of my children could feel this way, but they don't even call. And now I am taking the bull by the horns and moving into a situation where I can be home ALL day with them! My guess is this will serve to make the weekends even more lonely and quiet but I can't wait! Totally with you Cath. Even going to work is hard! C xx

Tom - by the way, get your facts straight before you attack. I'm not divorced, was never married, and have never denied access to my daughter by her father. Take your attack where you need to take it. Cath (someone who totally rocks the name Mother)

To those of you ranting about being a father, and thus having a hard time attaining custody, and attacking the author of this piece, you are all missing the point. This article is not about women vs men in custody battles. This is not supporting bias rulings over custody cases. This is not about the legal system. This is about the psychological bond between parent and child, and how that bond influences the construction of self. Your rantings reveal much in terms of your own insecurities, which blind you to the content of gentle, innocent articles such as this one. It is of no benefit to belittle and berate. There are other, more suitable, forums for such discussions, arguments, and rantings. This is not the place for it.

Johan My hat goes off to you - any single parent knows how hard it is to be a single parent. In fact, any parent knows its the hardest yet most rewarding job in the world!

Tom, Funnily enough. I dont think your anger is directed towards me. Not once have I ever done any of the things you've mentioned, and I really would be appalled by people who do that. I believe in equal rights for parents, entirely, and I believe wholeheartedly in your organisation. F4J fights very well for the rights of the father, and equal rights means equal responsibilities and that means the BEST for a child. So, please, take your attack somewhere else. This can of worms is one you're misdirecting at me. Cath

Not ONCE in this article did I slate or berate my daughter's father. I know that he's read this and I'm sure he'd agree, I have not. So, please, take this article as it comes and NOT in the way you have perceived it.

Hi Gary Interesting - I didn't once mention my daughter's father's life or involvement. In fact, he is very involved in her life and we have a good relationship. He and his daughter are very close, and as such, has unfettered access to her at all times. He has often said that he wants more time with I know of Fathers for Justice very well and fully support all parents in their rights towards ensuring their child get all the love they can in the world. Don't go attacking. Tom. Your comment was rude. Frankly, this article did not address any issues in relation to parenting. It was a letter to my daughter stating that I missed her. That's all. In fact, a feeling that I know her father feels too when he is away from her. Can of worms? No, I don't think so. Honest, yes. But this was not an attempt to slate anyone but rather to say that I love and missed my daughter.

What a can of worms you've opened up with your self-pitying little bout of snivelling, Cath! Fathers in South Africa are, as a group, the most unfairly maligned, abused, and marginalised sector of society - ESPECIALLY when the marriage ends - and women, despite what the law CLAIMS to have in place, routinely get full custody, and basically do what they like, when they like, and deny access to the father on any and every whim. This observation, sadly, is not only from personal experience, but the collective experience of almost every single divorced father of my acquaintance - daddy turns up for a scheduled day visit, and mommy has gone out shopping with the child(ren), daddy books a holiday and mommy suddenly decides she is taking the kids elsewhere for that time - the list just never EVER ends. And the children are the ones who suffer. One day, when you divorced women have finally grown up (if ever) you'll realise how selfish, petty, and just plain childish you are for denying your children their RIGHT to have a proper, enduring, and close relationship with their fathers - no matter WHAT you think of your ex. Fathers have rights too, you know - and even if it IS in your power to thwart your ex's attempts to stay in your childrens' lives, you should, if you love your children, resist the temptation. In fact, it has been my unfortunate experience to discover on numerous occasions that women who complained about ex-husbands who just 'disappeared' from their children's lives, were the very reason FOR that disappearance - the fathers were continually humiliated, financially drained, and emotionally abused for as long as what they tried to see their children. No WONDER they gave up and walked away - a human being can only take so much abuse before they either become murderous or suicidal. And you ex-wives ('mother' is too kind a word for you) are the ones who cause this situation to manifest and become unendurable for the man, and then use his only defence, short of going to jail for murder, to describe all men. SHAME on you!

I too am a senior member of Fathers-4-Justice and I am denied a healthy involved relationship with my son. I see him for a few hours on a Saturday and am told this is more than enough. My son never asked to be separated from me nor I from him yet my son now runs around calling my ex's new boyfriend daddy..where is the Justice? The legal system and it's practitioners bestow the word ex onto daddy to when ex husband/partner now also includes ex dad! It's not right, a message to the author is you have a very vague idea as to the emptiness and loss we dads endure! I would love to have my son run and jump on the bed one morning and say morning dad.......... www.fathers-4-justice.co.za

As a senior member of Fathers 4 Justice we understand what it is like to not have our children in our lives. Unlike the author and the mothers that have already responded we do not have the luxury of having our children on terms that are not only suitable but ultimately for the good of the child. Invariably we as good fathers that want to fully and comprehensively participate in the lives of our children have to go through years of exceptionally expensive legal battle to get even a smidgen of begrudged access to our children. We would like to implore mothers to please leave the children out of the battle and let the child have their rightful relationship with their fathers. In the same vain we are sick and tired of fathers that impede on our relationship who do not take responsibility for their children. Fathers 4 Justice is neither a pro dad or anti mom, but a child first organisation. We look forward to hearing from and working with mothers you on this very emotional complex subject. Visit our website www.f4j.co.za

I have to agree with Wayne. I was a hands on Dad who stood in for Mom a lot as she is a very successful career lady. When we split, suddenly Dad had to restructure his life as he wasn't needed anymore apart from the second weekend thing. Time for the law courts to improve the custody rights of fathers instead of automatically assuming "the mother would be best to get custody..." times have changed...so should the custody laws....I lost my fulltime kid...it was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life....

I must be entirely honest, and say that the few times I had entirely to myself I FORCED myself to make the most of. I planned and scheduled things that I didn't normally get to do. I made plans with friends or went to see a movie or something. Even though I missed my son A LOT and he was on my mind all the time. I was also a single mom- but with no contact with my son's father at all- so I had no weekends "off". When he went on school camps or stayed a night with his grandparents I went all out to make the most of my alone time!

Mom of one. He never went away for the holidays - only some weekends with his dad and that petered out to maybe a day with dad every second weekend. Cope - oh boy! I am like a ghost in my own home, I flee. Go to the mall, visit a friend, anything but not home alone. It is the pits!! I need that noise to feel alive.

I agree with you Wayne. Its just amazing how mothers always just seem to think about themselves what the want and to hell with what dads feel. Dads need to be near their children as much as moms do. Why can't we as dads have our children in the weeks and let moms see how it feels to have their children on average 4 days a month? Come on moms, let us dads see our children a bit more. Our children need us dads just as much as they need their moms.

As a father who only gets to see his children every 2nd weekend and 1/2 of school holidays the periods of loneliness seem vast and sometimes eternal. I really feel angered about how the courts prejudice against fathers rights to have equal time with their children and instead automatically default to the 2nd w/end 'rule'.

I am a single dad of two - they stay with me full time. Last year they were at their mother's only for three weekends. I don't know what is me time, but I don't want it - I love them too much. As long as they are around (even fighting), my life is perfect. I feel for all the single mothers - you are a wonderful bunch!

Hey Kay, Wow, im not sure I would cope with that much time away from my little person. I battle with having to go away for work too. So much. You are very brave! Wayne, youre very right. I know dads feel the pain too.

Trust me doesnt change when they are older. My daughters abandon me most weekends to be with friends etc and with my partner away the loneliness sometimes scares me. I go 'why have they all deserted me' but then they return and give me the lip then everything is as it should be :-)

As a senior member of Fathers 4 Justice with in South Africa I would like to point out that not all fathers are like the one that you describe in your articles. There are fathers out there that would dearly love to be part of their children’s lives. But because of a biased legal system we are denied this right so may I suggest that mothers such as your selves join us so that we can make fathers who do not participate in their children’s lives responsible and that we make mothers who refuse to allow good fathers their right to have a fair equal same relationship that the mothers enjoy the same for fathers. Fathers 4 Justice is neither pro Dad or Anti mum but a child first organisation. We seek to have a child’s right to have free easy unrestricted access to both parents. And where both parents are automatically jointly and severable responsible for Care maintenance and guardianship of a child. And that no burden is placed on an individual parent to raise a child. I look forward to hearing from you. Visit www.f4j.co.za

As a senior member of Fathers 4 Justice with in South Africa I would like to point out that not all fathers are like the one that you describe in your articles. There are fathers out there that would dearly love to be part of their children’s lives. But because of a biased legal system we are denied this right so may I suggest that mothers such as your selves join us so that we can make fathers who do not participate in their children’s lives responsible and that we make mothers who refuse to allow good fathers their right to have a fair equal same relationship that the mothers enjoy the same for fathers. Fathers 4 Justice is neither pro Dad or Anti mum but a child first organisation. We seek to have a child’s right to have free easy unrestricted access to both parents. And where both parents are automatically jointly and severable responsible for Care maintenance and guardianship of a child. And that no burden is placed on an individual parent to raise a child. I look forward to hearing from you. Visit www.f4j.co.za

As a senior member of Fathers 4 Justice with in South Africa I would like to point out that not all fathers are like the one that you describe in your articles. There are fathers out there that would dearly love to be part of their children’s lives. But because of a biased legal system we are denied this right so may I suggest that mothers such as your selves join us so that we can make fathers who do not participate in their children’s lives responsible and that we make mothers who refuse to allow good fathers their right to have a fair equal same relationship that the mothers enjoy the same for fathers. Fathers 4 Justice is neither pro Dad or Anti mum but child a child first organisation. We seek to have a child’s right to have free easy unrestricted access to both parents. And where both parents are automatically jointly and severable responsible for Care maintenance and guardianship of a child. And that no burden is placed on an individual parent to raise a child. I look forward to hearing from you.

It is not only the moms that feel that way it is the dads as wel. The diffrence is that our waits are usually alot longer before they come back.

my son's dad lives in another town, and I have him every term, and he goes to his dad every school holiday. The advantage is that I have never known how it feels to have a "bored" child during the holidays. But after about 2 days of "me" time, I want him back! Holidays are loooong, and I normally try to go out as much as possible to avoid the quiet emptyness of the house. I love my son, and while we both benefit from our time apart (I try and convince myself), I MISS HIM A LOT when he is gone.

Single mom of 3. I am awed. I hate that never being able to sleep late! wah! I so get you! they have us so well trained! Cath

I'm a single mom of 3... so figure the amount of noise compared to the deathly silence I have every second weekend... I make these big plans of watching DVD's, getting my hair done, soaking in the tub... HA HA HA cant even sleep late as my body clock is even tuned into theirs lol. All I want is a teeny weeny bit of me time when they are home but when they gone all I want is truckloads of their time... I love them :-)