Because I want other people to enjoy my kids and love having them over, I would never let them run wild like that. That being said: If ANYONE (and this INCLUDES any family member except myself and my husband) ever tries to "discipline" one of my children by hitting her or shouting at her, you'd see the mama tiger come out right quick! My kids are very, very well behaved, we are told this wherever we go and we experience it everyday at home and one of the reasons for this is that they know they are the kids - mom and dad aren't going to go shouting and hitting like a couple of kids themselves! We do NOT tolerate violence in our house or family. I don't hit my kids, so if you do, be prepared for ME to hit YOU and see how you like it!

All problems starts when this child is born. In the first instance, mommy cannot breastfeed because she does not have time, it will spoil her figure and garbage like this. Parents of today overall does not EARN respect. A child becomes its parent!!!!!!! ITS A FACT. STOP MOANING ABOUT NAUGHTY CHILDREN. THERE ARE NO SUCH THING. CHILDREN ARE CONFUSED. NO PROPER MORALS ETC. FROM PARENTS SIDE. DONT SHOOT ME.

I agree with the 'my house my rules'. I have a very well mannered kid but it was I who taught her how to behave. Bring me your child and I will sort them out.. then I would like the parents, so I can sort them out too. Boundaries = security = welcome children. One thing: people say we are not to smack our children because it embarrasses them, well, throwing a tantrum embarrasses me and my daughter does not like to be embarrassed at all so I only need to whisper in her ear... problem solved - but it doesn't happen as she has learned where her boundaries lie.

If you do not discipline you're child, you will always be embarrassed, scared to go somewhere, will be called to the schools and you're child will also be treated for ADHD, hyperactivity etc. etc. We've got a "naughty chair" within eyesight and if he/she still doesn't listen. SMACK or we call it an ATTITUDE ADJUSTER on the bum. I see every day parents with undisciplined children, there is no benefit for both parties. How does a child learn the difference btween right and wrong? They big thing about naughty children is that the parents should be told that the child is naughty, and they must realise the child is naughty.

Disipline is always needed..but violence i dont know ..some children just become aggressave people by smacking and "klupping" them. Just speak firm and be consistant..let your yes be yes and your no be no.

I don`nt think it be a problem for friend to scold the child, certainly someone else should not smake a child of my own.

It is not easy for me to discipline someone else's child in the presence of the parent. When a child misbehave in my presence when the parent is absent, I discipline the child. I speak firmly with child and also sternly if he is sturbborn. I never smack somebody else's chidren but my nieces and nephews if they are stubborn when I discipline them if their parents are not taking action or are absent. We need to raise well-behaved and responsible children in order to fight crime. It is no use lammenting about the high crime rate while we raise small, growing criminals in our homes, expecting the government to do something. Prisons are there to do it. Psychopaths are products of unhealthy parenting.

I don't have children of my own but I have been looking after my sister's children. I was also disciplined as a child so I can spot good and bad behaviour. When parents don't discipline their children it means they don't love or care for their children. Laying boundries for their kids and giving them love will make them feel secured, confident and independent adults. They will gain life skills and know how to socialise with other people in a healthy way. Kids will learn communation skills without being aggressive. If you don't discipline your kids, you don't love them, FULL STOP.

I agree with all the above comments about children visiting you. It is your home and if the parents cannot control their children they are happy to sty away. My children did not disgrace me in other people's homes and were welcome to visit. Like my husband always say " some children have stupid parents"

I have never disciplined anyone's children.....except one day. I was living with a friend of mine after the birth of her second child. Her husband had walked off and she was left with the kids. Boy aged 5 and a half and a new born. She suffered terribly from post natal depression and asked if I would stay by her for a few months. As I was still single at the time I did it. Her 5 year old was such a little menace. He did the opposite of literally everything she said, it was extremely difficult to live with him. At that stage already I had a lot of experience with kids as I did Au pair work for many years. So, I moved in when baby was 6 days old and stayed for 11 months. When baby was 2 weeks old I was sitting feeding her in the lounge one night and the the little Terror was playing around us. I would continuously tell him not to run around us and 'boo' the baby as she gets a fright and yes, we all know what happens then. He didn't listen and kept going on. Round and round and round and boo and boo and boo. I got so worked up that the poor baby could probably feel it and also became niggely. Eventually she was done with her bottle and burped and I had put her in her carry cot in the pram. The moment I put her in there he came and stood with both hands on the carry cot looking inside. In a nice calm sweet voice (with veins pulsating, wanting to explode) I told him that his little sister is having a nice dudu he must not wake her. So he starts shaking the carry cot. I immediately told him not to and explained that if she wakes up there will be trouble and his mommy would be upset with him. So what does he do....he shakes that carrier so bad from side to side that I could hear baby's head hitting the sides. I lost it. I grabbed him by the arm, by his armpit and gave him a few good shots on his bum. He got SUCH a fright that this aunty was hitting him, but I had just about had it with him at that stage. He could have seriously injured that baby. He never looked for k@k with me again and till this day myself and his mom are great friends. I won't 'sommer' discipline someone's kids, it really depends very much on the friends and the circumstances. I just couldn't stop myself that night.

I nogal think it's ok to discipline other people's children as long as you don't hit them. But you mus let them know thye're wrong. It's the children that aren't discipleined who mess up South Africa because they learn from small that they can do whatever they want and not consider other people.

My neighbours have such a child and I have spoken calmly and firmly to him on occasion. I always feel sorry for the little guy as they are not teaching him any social skills - people who are too afraid to say "what are you doing tapdancing on the coffee table" simply avoid him altogether when they can - one day he'll wonder why.

I favour the stern-eyed look followed by: "Sorry, but what exactly are you doing with aunt ****'s CDs/dancing on the coffee table?" Very few children are able to come up with a sensible explanation for such crazy behaviour and even lame-duck parents are forced to do something. I won't punish someone else's child, but I'll never pretend that such unacceptable behaviour isn't happening.

I vote smack the parents, feed the kids copious amounts of sugar and send them home. Oh and your kid broke it, you bought it!!!

I think the problem comes in that we are afraid to dicipline other people's children because of law suits. The society of today is too quickly to run to Court and do not see what is really going on.

Before I had kids of my own, I would never have thought of disciplining someone else's child, but now I understand that the adult makes the rules, and the child follows the rules. While I would never smack another person's child - since I would expect the same of others towards my kids - I would certainly be prepared to shout at them, take away whatever they're playing with or send them to the naughty corner for 15 minutes. Kids need to understand that when an adult talks - whether its their parent or not - they must listen, so Sabrina, I would cheerfully discipline your kids if they got out of hand at my house, and I would give you an earful for not doing your job as a parent if you tok me to task over it!!!

My almost 4 year old daughter is a delight to be around (with the exeption of occassionally having to be reminded about saying please and thank you). It has never been necessary for anyone else to discipline her because my husband and I do it ourselves when necessary regardless of where we are and who is looking. If it where to ever be necessary then I don't mind if someone verbally tells her of but only if she deserves it. However, I don't agree with other people giving my child a hidding, that is a job for me or my husband and no body else.

My mother believed in a good old fashioned hiding (that you KNEW you got a hiding) when we were little. Contrary to modern belief - myself and all of my siblings are fairly sucessful and functional adults. No hang ups, no trauma. Only appreciation for parents who cared enough to smack me when I needed it.

In both situations I'd give the "evil eye" of disapproval, take the object away from the kid and loudly say something so that the parent gets embarrassed enough to do something about it. I would certainly not smack the child but I would be loud about my disapproval of the bad behavior. It's the parents that need to learn how to handle their children as seen repeatedly in BBC Lifestyles parenting shows.

I have two nephews with similar problems. The one, a five year old tends to rule the roost when mum is around. He blatently refuses to listen to her, demands treats whenever she go to the store, throws stones at our poor animals, steals and refuses to listen. His brother, a two year old, has the revolting habit of screaming whenever he is frustrated, angry, tired or just generally being difficult. I am terribly distressed to see the way these two behave, it upsets all those around them, not least their parents who seem to tolerate this obscene behaviour. Mum works all day and cannot get off before 4pm and dad travels constantly - so discipline tends to slide possibly due to guilt. I really find myself hard pressed at times not to "klup" them, but know this won't do, atleast for the five year old, as it may only result in violence resolving a problem. I see my parents, the brats grandparents, getting incredibly distant over a problem that in theory should not be left up to them to solve. If anyone has any advice to stop these brats before they become social menaces please post on this thread! Thanks :)

small bratty children should be tazered or given sleeping tablets. And just tell the parents not to bring their spawnlings over to the next party as they cant behave.

Clearly Sabrina has naughty children. It's usually those who can't control their kids who get upset about someone else telling their children off.

To Sabrina. Wha-aat? Have you seen the latest polls on Britain's brats? Children are being feared. I fear every todler who comes to my house now. They are destructive and there is someone very obviously wrong with the dozy parents. The same way you call it judgmental I can say leave my stuff alone and stop screaming in my vicinity. not to mention shopping centres. There really are still well disciplined, pleasant kids around but the parents have lost the plot. One kid gave me an evil smile and proceeded to try and poke a hole in the back of my sofa (with a pen nogal) while she was leaning over with the mother gently caressing her evil little legs. I took two hand to pry the pen out of her little claws. Don't bring them near me ... I am scared.

Parents who let their kids to misbehave should be ashamed of their selves and their brats, on should make sure parents with brats know that people are not comfortable around them.

Yes I have most diciplined other kids, mostly in public places. It just seems to me that some parents are unfit to have even one child, let alone 3. Kids ( brats ) with bad manners are just the worst and after your diciplined the child, focus attention on the parents as they most probably need some dicipline themselves.

I have no problem someone I know and my kids know, disciplining them. I also discipline my nieces (could be because they're naughty brats who have no respect for other people's stuff & walk over their parents). I would never smack them & if anyone tries that with my kids, they would find out that wasn't a good idea. Violence isn't always the answer and agree with Lejane, sometimes a well placed, firm word does the trick. Sabrina, if your kids are being disruptive and you're doing nothing about it, do you expect us to just let it happen?

My children are now grown-ups. My principle of raising my own children was to do it in such a way that other people would love them to .. not tolerate them!! If every parent had that in mind we would not mind if others disciplined our own. However as in my case it would never be necessary for friends to do. I might just add my kids are well balanced and have many friends & are respected by friends & colleagues.

I don't think it be a problem for a friend to scold the child, certainly someone esle should not smack a child of my own. That is the parents job. Removing the objects from the childs reach is always the best idea. I have no problem with smacking a child of my own. Yes, it is always the parents fault for an unrully kid as it shows lack of diciplin. I certainly would not let a child get away with a tantrum, if the child wants to cry, then give them something to cry about. The next time they will think twice before mis-behaving.

I don't think it be a problem for a friend to scold the child, certainly someone esle should not smack a child of my own. That is the parents job. Removing the objects from the childs reach is always the best idea. I have no problem with smacking a child of my own. Yes, it is always the parents fault for an unrully kid as it shows lack of diciplin. I certainly would not let a child get away with a tantrum, if the child wants to cry, then give them something to cry about. The next time they will think twice before mis-behaving.

After having a few bad incidents with destruction in my house caused by others' kids I have taken a line, in my house I call the shots. If someone else's kids misbehaves in my house I tell them so. And beware the parent that tells me I'm intolerant because I don't have kids. Yesterday in the busy supermarket two kids were running around, daddy happily shopping on the other side of the shop. I told the kids not to run, they can get hurt. Smack another person's kid - only if he bites me. I like the sign sometimes found in shops: Unattended kids will receive a free espresso and a puppy/kitten. Parents must realise it's "their babies" in more than one sense. If a grown up annoyed me I would speak my mind, same about kids.

My husband is a GP. When mothers actually give their little kid one of his instruments to keep them quiet (it really happens!), all he says is, Madam, that stethoscope costs R3000. Do you want to buy it for your child?' That usually stops them. Admittedly, he invariably loses such a woman as a patient, but hey, how many consultations would it take to replace that stethoscope anyway?

I have 5 kids. In either case (above) my kids would have been shouted at, and corrected, if I were in that position. I have no problem with others verbally correcting my children, but in no ways is any form of physical discpline acceptable. I rarely ever smack my children, as they know exactly where they stand wrt. acceptable behavior. A childs bad behavior is a poor reflection of the parents. Those parents that accept it have somehow skewed their perspective on life to make themselves believe it is okay. As for the "pakslae", there is an extreme time and place for that, but it does not necessarily address the issue properly. As for scenario one - I would have made an embarassing comment about the situation, and scenario two, I would have moved the discs and spoken with the child so that everyone was aware of my unhappiness.

Annabella, I would have asked the mom to remove her child from my VCR. A one year old child does not deserve a hiding from such behavour, it needs to be removed. The mom needs to control her child and if she doesn't, she is not welcome in my house.

Sabrina - glad to hear your child is well disciplined by his/her parents. I have never yelled nor slapped another's child, but a simple but stern STOP IT ussually does it - for both out of line child and parent. And if the "friendship" has come to a sudden death - so be it; then it was never true friendship. I expect of others to discipline my children if they are to misbehave where I am not there to see and discipline them myself.

Citizen - you're my kind of parent except I would suggest to the Mom that she should wash her child's hands as they will still dirty my carpet unless she wants to pay to clean the carpet. If that hurts your feelingsd well then I don't want friends like you anyhow. Why should I put away my precious things because your child has no boundaries in your home. Sabrina - you are the kind of parent who will wonder why your child is still a child with problems when they reach 38 and have kids who smash your things and throw a tantrum when you tell them to discipline their child. You are a product of an overindulgent parent raising potential criminals who don't know their boundaries and end up on drugs and do crime in their early teens and expect your friends to feel sorry for you. Kids need love, boundaries and wings. If you supply the first two giving them their wings is easy because they know what is right from wrong and your children will be safe and happy. TIP for tantrums: Child needs an audience from parent. Get up and walk away from child and the tantrum stops immediately for fear of abandonment. Keep walking and ignore others horrified comments or looks. It works extremely well anywhere but only if others don't interfere by going to rescue. Some kids will hold their breath and turn blue. Same treatment - worst that can happen is child passes out and stops holding breath.

@ Sabrina - I'd like to see your child be a monster around me!!! Your child has NO right to subject other people to their tantrum! I'll discipline them one time. When a parents "duty" isnt performed I'd sooner eat my own arm than subject myself to the tantrums of a child! You'll hear the sound of hand on backside for miles.

If I wouldnt tolerate another adult screaming at me, I certainly will not tolerate a child screaming at me. Children have no respect because parents have become soft and pathetic. Give them a smack for goodness sake, or I promise I will!!!!

Sabrina - My house, my rules. My friends and I have all agreed on the above principle. It does not matter who's house we are at, the rules in that house is the absolute minimum standard, and it does not matter who sees the transgression, we all pitch in to resolve the issue. None of us will go to another parent and says "Your child is doing ABC, and I need you to discipline them for me." We tell our children not to tattle tail, so we may not either. However, if I see my child doing something I do not accept at home, but the hosts accept it, I will still take my child aside and resolve the issue in exactly the same way as I would at home. I have to be consistant with my children, it is only fair to them. And all in the group are happy to have the others pitching in. Those who were not, no longer join us for get togethers. And the get together are usually very pleasant because of our attitudes.

Oh please Sabrina - if your child were to cause unpleasantness for other people then they have EVERY right. It's inconsiderate people like you who are bringing up brats.

I don't believe it's acceptable to discipline a child who is not yours in any situation. However there are two ways to deal with misbehaving little ones; if their parents are in attendance one should take the offending child to it's parent and explain what they are doing and suggest an action, which for the record is not a hidding, rather " little Prevedhnee is playing with my cd's, perhaps you could give him one of his own toys to play with". If the parent is not in the vicinity, you may reprimand and redirect the child. It takes a village is based on the precept that your village loves and cares for a childs wellbeing. Not, smacks an unknown child.

Really quite easy, you calmly say to the parent" "Please control you child. If you don't I will." If they happen to be your friends and do not want to be after that, it's really no loss.

It's simple - if parents cant control their children in my house, neither them nor their children are welcome. Sorry Sabrina, my household possesions would be worth more than your friendship.

There is nothing like a short, sharp and well pronounced "STOP THAT...NOW!" to curb another person's misbehaving child. I have on occasion even done it in their own homes. I have never been rebuked for it. Usually I get an apology from the parent for the disturbance or their lack of action. Once I got a strange look and responded :"Clearly your tolerance level of bad behavior is higher than mine". That it was bad behavior was NOT challenged...

I agree - just one or two "moerse pak slae" and everything is calm. the problem is htat if you don't then the courts will do it later.

Yes, on several occasions. Obviously I did not smack the child, but word of mouth was efficient.

I would like to see any of you try and discipline my child and get away with it, you have no right!! I would speak to the mother about it, it is her duty to discipline the child, not mine. Cannot believe what a judgemental lot of pratts you are.

Children are naughty or misbehaving it's the parents fault, parents do not take control of their kids. There are simple tricks to disciple children but it starts with their parents. There is a TV Series on BBC that is called Supernanny by Jo Frost. If all parents would spend some time with Supernanny Basic principles they will be taught how to disciple and love there children. I have used it and it works 100% but if the parents don't change their bad habits NOTHING will change. Please get her book or watch Supernanny on BBC. Life today is so fast moving that we need to help ourselves and others to learn how to deal with children and misbehaver. Good Luck

I don't at any stage find it acceptable to hit another person's child EVER, but certainly feel nothing for admonishing another person's child. xample: At a restaurant, child throwing a tantrum and screaming right at the chair and table next to me, I turned around and firmly said "ENOUGH". Simple, effective and obviously never been tried by Mommy, who couldn't say anything because the rest of the restaurant applauded. As in the example above, simple but firm action is all that's requited, both for the children and the recalcitrant parent.

Yes. Absolutely. Achild is the social group's responsibility. One HAS to learn in order to fit into society and be the most productive and best part you can be.

Of course i would a brat in his place. I believe that the parents should be slapped on the bum for allowing their kids to control them in that matter as well. I do, do it with my friends kids that are out of line, and dont see anything wrong with it.

Yes, I have disciplined someone else's child. A friend was visiting with her 1 year old. While we were chatting, the child tried to fidgit with my VCR. She just sat there so I got up and smacked the child on its bum. He got such a fright, he immediately stopped what he was doing and didn't go near the machine for the rest of the visit. Needless to say, that was the last time they visited at my house - much to my delight!

Scenario One. Excuse myself and offer to meet for coffee (without the kids) on a convenient date. Scenario Two. Wer I the host, I would remvoe the DVD's quickly, place them out of harms way and hand the kid over to the parents. Done.

This whole debate concerning putting children in a so called "naughty corner" approach to managing discipline is the biggest reason for our out of control child hood as we know it today. I have two word in afrikaans "Moerse Pakslae" Many of the parents does not know how to get their children to behave these days because of all the laws protecting the child's rights so they rather try to ignore the situation. Of course you get the odd parent parent that really does not know better but for the majority I think this is far more difficult to raise a child today than say 20 years ago where a child could be disciplined there and then.