Holy moly Charles - I think you should take your blinkers off!! I don't think God controls hormones. I cannot believe you would even suggest getting married at a young age or while in college. That is the most insane thing i have every heard. If your 14 year old wanted to have sex, would it only be acceptable if she got married? It is no secret that times have changed from the dark ages. People are getting married now for all the wrong reasons and if it is just to loose virginity, that is worse than getting married because of a baby. The only thing you can do is educate your kids and be open. Whether you do or don't, it is no secret that teenagers and their friends know more than you anyways (in their mind) and will do what they want regardless of restrictions. would you rather have your child do things behind your back, or would you rather know what is going on and be realistic? And choosing a "date" for your child - get real. If my mother chose my boyfriend he would be a beer drinking, rugby watching pinhead. Instead i have the opposite.

My golly, I wish I had parents like you when I was a teenager. And that your daughters were my friends. I would not have been an 18 year old virgin, but a real stud! I think you are all nuts, yes it is happening, but only because you as parents allow it to happen, even supplying condoms. I was a healthy teenager and did not die just because sex had to wait till I could accept responsibilty in case a baby came along. Yes, that is one of the side effects of sex, a baby. How will your 12 year old look as a daddy?

Charles Willers ...That is HEAVY Brother.

When I grew up I was under the impression that you could fall pregnant when a boy puts a pill in your cool drink, so I always ordered a Lemonade in order to "see" through it. I have 4 grown kids but in "those" days I made sure to be open about sex. The "stone age" is in the past and these "out of date" parents, (who probably did it themselves as teenagers but won't admit it), should wake up and "protect" their children by being open and honest about sex. Rather safe than sorry!

Yep, as a Life Skills Educator (Freelance in the schools) I can confirm kids are sexually active from a very young age; oral sex to them is like a peck on the cheek! I run private courses if anyone is interested in putting a group together; contact me on 1sandijay1@gmail.com

Here we are talking about moral standards, why as parents do we need to be blamed. As teachers and education changed the whole issue was rammed down our throats.

We are sexually at our peak at about 14 - 21 years of age if I am correct. Yet society expects the young person to wait for marriage until they have completed university/college and be stable at a job before getting married. This means that the current marriageable age is about 25 - 30. It is unreasonable to expect ANYONE to be chaste until then because it is natural and normal for the human being to engage in sex in their peak. So, what are the results? Sex outside of marriage with all its attendant results: unwanted pregnancies and abortion, an illicit lifestyle, HIV/AIDS, STD's, emotional distress, etc. What is the answer? Going the way God intended us to. God made us to get married when we are sexually at our peak. Yes, it is true, the parents are at fault, but this has been the case for many generations. Parents have not been taking responsibility for the education of their children. But then the parents cannot fully be blamed because they were ignorant, because somehwere in the past our forefathers neglected to take up their responsibilities to their children. They have been leaving it up to others to do so - the school, church and sports educators. We as parents should be teaching our children from an early age about life, sex, marriage and responsibility so that when they reach sexual maturity they will be ready to enter into marriage (even if they may still be busy with university/college). The problem is that as parents we have withdrawn ourselves from the responsibilities of the family unit. Yes, I know the teenager rebels against the parent. Why? Becaue we as parents are not willing to take up our Godly responsibilities as parents - especially the father. The father is very guilty - it is because of the lack of involvement over the last few generations that society is in the mess it is today. History has shown itself to very succesful in this arena where the people married at a young age and followed God's ways. The attendant problems of sex outside of marriage were a rarety. Yet today these problems are on the increase, including other cirmes such as rape, prostitution and abduction where the young girls and boys are forced into sex slaves. And no, I am not proposing that the father choose a husband for his daughter because there are many evils in that practice. Nor is the current practice of dating good either. In the first it is only the father that is involved. In the second the parents are not involved at all until the couple decide to get engaged, and then perhaps the parents are included - by then it is too late. What should be happening is the practise of courtship where both the parents and the young person are involved together from the beginning so that the father can protect his daughter without controlling the relationship (this would then only go back to the father choosing a husband for his daughter). We also, in terms of courtship, need not go back to the practice of having a chaperone – if we as parents have properly trained our children to be responsible from a young age, then this is the time to show them that we trust them.

Brilliant Article.. As a parent to a 15 year old I know that the last thing you want to think about is them and sex, but ignoring it doesn't make it go away or not true. Educating them makes it less likely and safer. Oh My Goodness, I suppose I am going to go and endure more eye-rolling now as I tackle this subject again with Justin. He wasnt impressed with me the last time I spoke to him about his body and them urges..LOL!

NotKay! Well hello! it's been A while! Hah, yes, awesome, i'll be over pronto. Make tea? xxx

CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP... hits so close to home: all angles. Well done again, you gorgeousness. Now please come have this talk with MINE. I can't stand the eyerolling any longer. Open and honest drop-it-into-everyday-conversation approach is met with "Ma I KNOOOOOOW..." Swap you a 12 year old boy?

Hey Angel, Gina and Chris Thanks for the props! I reckon my parents openness helped shape my perspective on this too - true, I was a HECK of a teen, but they never shied away from the idea that I was involved/interested/curious. Honest and open, its the way forward. Cath

Brilliant article! Honesty was the approach my dad took with me. In doing so we never had 'the birds and the bees' talk, we just always spoke about sex, sexuality, sensuality and being safe. It was never taboo or embarrassing, just something that was open for discussion whenever or wherever. This will be the approach I take with my kids as they grow up.

It's so very true, ignorance is not the answer either!

Real nice piece Cath. I know my knucklehead is having sex. He's 18 now, and he has a girlfriend he really likes. I also know she spends the night when myself and my fiancé are away for weekends. I've made sure he has condoms on him- and easily accessible- since he was 12 years old. I'm not delusional. We have also discussed sex and all the various STDs out there, as well as HIV, over the years. Since the first time he asked me a question as a little boy. I just pray- and I have asked him on numerous occasions- to please use the condoms no matter what.