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Anne Cawood

Anne is an experienced registered social worker, involved in developing and presenting workshops on a host of parenting topics. Read More...

Question

Posted by: Rughshana.Cassim on 18 August 2009

What are the side effects if I can call it that for children that come from abusive environments? My boyfriend began being emotionally abusive but now his gotten physical as well sometimes in front of our one year old son. Is he at a age where he understands that daddy is hurting mommy?

Answer

Children pick up negative vibes from very early. At 1 year old there is no doubt that abusive behaviour between adults has a very negative effect. It is not mature role modeling and instills anxiety and fear in children. I would advise that you find counseling to help sort out your problems. Conflict is not a problem in relationships - it is part of life. But, when the conflict is abusive and aggressive it is extremely bad for everyone concerned. Positive, mature conflict can lead to problem-solving and resolution of differences between people. Please ensure that this aggressive behaviour between you and your boyfriend is sorted out asap.

All the very best to you.

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