Hi Crystal - your son is still very young, and these kind of "problems" - especially in the foundation phase - seems very normal to me - you need to clarify with his teaches about what exactly they mean with "confidence" in a classroom context - I would suggest that you take him to an educational psychologist for a comprehensive evaluation - they will look at both his capabilities and his psychological state - good luck - try to stay positive!

My son is 5 years old & at his play school they recommended he spend the next 6mths in the same class and after the 6mths he can move into the next class. when i questioned why the teacher said he lacked confidence, i quizzed more..her explaination was that he was rather quiet in class, he didnt play in the jungle gym and he didnt mix well on the play ground with the other boys. I then raised other questions ito academically, & she said she had no problems with him in that regard, he drew well, he coloured, he was able to complete the worksheets, he knew alphabets numbers etc etc. I then said her explaination was not concrete enough to have him repeat the class. if a child in introvert in this particular case made him in no ways not capable. can you imagine the feeling he would pick up if his mates moved to another class & he couldnt follow. my question is so WHAT if he is a reserved child at school, he certainly isnt reserved at home or with other kids outside the school. I am glad i questioned it & we had a good discussion with the school & they agreed that he was the right age & was academically on the same level as the other kids & they moved him up. He doesnt know about all this but he is just as happy - never cries to go to school & he always has stories to tell about his day. My concern is that introverted children are being labelled & thats wrong.

I have a 12 year old daughter who is hard working but not the norm. I feel that schools should stop trying to mould kids to be a certain something or someone when we infact are individuals and surely a happy child is a better child than a stressed child. I would seriously suggest that you either put your child in a private school like montesorri or wharldorf where they accomodate for various types of persons. I think that we as parents try very hard for our kids to fit in. I would advise that you let your child be and tell the school to spend more time on encouraging children!

My son is 7 years old and in grade two. We moved house over December, he had to change schools, his grandfather whom he had been very close to, died late last year etc..... The 3rd week into the new year at the new school the teacher told me that he is being disruptive in class and saying inappropriate things in class and does not seem to be on par with the rest of the kids. He does not concentrate and asks questions to often. She suggested that my son be assessed by an occupational therapist. His handwriting was poor etc.(he is left handed). This did not sound right to me, it did not sound like my son... Was i in denial? Well after much consideration i confronted him about the 'bad language' only to discover that he had said the word 'stupid'! We all know that 'stupid' is not a swear word. Anyway, i sent him to an external learning center to have him assessed as well and on the first session the feedback was that he can read but more practice is needed. Fine, and that is what we are doing everyday. After his first lesson, he finished book 1 and moved over to book 2 already. This was merely revision of grade 1 work. This told me that we still on the right track. he understands work from last year. So where is the gap??? Is the school not allowing kids enough time to settle in from the Dec holiday's and adjusting into a new school? The amount of homework these kids receive at night is ridiculous. Apparently 20 mins per night is what we should spend, however it takes us almost 2 hours.. I am waiting for the school to have him assessed as well to get some answers. In the meantime, when i get home from work, the first thing we do is sit with homework, and i started hating doing homework with him because it feels as if i am teaching and not revising. How can i determine what is going on in the classroom. I have written a letter to the teacher regarding the above and still waiting for feedback. The pace at which kids are taught, is it not too fast? How do i help my son? Is my son under pressure at school and at home? How do i determine this as every time i ask him he cries, says nothing or says 'i'm fine mommy i understand'? This is heart breaking :-( Any advise till then would be appreciated. Regards X

My son is now 10 turning 11yrs old. He was the same. He was excellent in numeracy and computer work, but he was not so confident in reading and writing. He was a loner, but so am I. He can give you endless useless information that he saw on Dstv Wildlife, that can drive you around the bend, but it is just one of those things, lol. The best move I made was to take him out of mainstream school and enrolled him in to Khanyisa Waldorf School - for Supportive Learning. My son is now so confident it is unbelievable. There is a "BIG" difference on how the Waldorf teachers inter acts with him compared to his previous teacher. In the three months that he is at this school my son, has learnt to read in Afrikaans, he is also reading English books with confidence. He, for the first time, is active in group sports. Find that school that can cater to your child’s needs, I did, it took me three years to find them, but it was worth the search.

would really like to know how to get hold of Lara, it seems we have the same son...lol Going through the exact same issues, also a 7yr old grade 2

I think i have a solution for your problem. children love tecknology, i am a rep for rockseries educational programs. it includes maths and reading up untill grade 12. children usally fall behind in class and dont always find the time to catch up. this program is audio and visual. all lessons explained step by step in afrikaans and english. a complete program consisting of; 600+interactive mathematics lessons. basic math, fractions, geometry, algebra1 and trignometry. grade 1-12. 2500+speed reading lessons., electronic dictionary, suduko and more. its approved by gauteng educational department. Your child can study and enjoy it in the comford off his own home. for a free demo please contact Cheryl 0847504748

I have a 6yr old daughter in grade 1. I also received a note from her teacher stating that she lacks confidence and that her reading is not up to scratch. However, when i sit with her at night, she reads fluently. Which brings up the question, why does the teacher assume her reading is not up to scratch? I met with her teacher and discovered my daughter was in the lowest reading group in the class but when i received her first term assessment she had the highest reading percentage.. strange isn't it? I then confronted her teacher and was advised that my daughter read her assessment fluently and could answer all questions without any doubt. The amount of homework these kids receive is ridiculous to say the least. To start off, its reading cards (4 Cards), each card has 5 sentences, then its her sentence book. Each day they receive 1 sentence to read. At the end of the week its 5 sentences - they get assessed every Friday. We are now reaching 25 sentences - by the end of the week it will be 30 sentences. Then its maths, Afrikaans, and phonics (a,b,c) homework. We then move to writing and bonding words. We spend about 3-4 hours a day just with homework and it still seems that its not enough. Tuesdays are Physical education day - this adds an additional hour to their day. They only leave school at 14h00. Thursday is Computer studies, this also adds another hour - they also leave at 14h00. It's just never ending. She gets home on most days just before 2, Tuesday and Thursdays at 3. Then its lunch, and then time for homework. When do they get a chance to be just kids...playing in the sun and enjoying life? It's grade 1...but the pressure is so much. How do you convince your child that school is fun when the have so much to do? Any advise?? From a frustrated mother

It sounds as if your son has the signs of genius as he completes his work perfectly on his own. It is possible that he cant perform under pressure. I have found that the simple Journey Process for kids uncovers quickly the underlying issues of such behaviour. I myself have had my son off ADD meds for the 2.5yrs from this work. I am a Journey therapist and like to use my own life as examples..eg bullying at school or even teasing/jokes at school can cause a very quick shut down.

I also have the same problem with my son, i think for next year i should take him to the therapist cause his teacher called me and tells me that my son has to repeat grade 3 but the department of education suggested that he should be promoted to the next grade because his maths is good. So its unfurtunate that i couldn't get the proper answer from the school on how did the department conclude for my son to be promoted and they also fail to give me the number of the guy from the department cause i wanted to see him and ask him certain questions

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