Anything that helps a boy to become a man is a good idea. But a gap year can have its downside. Someone in my family went overseas and became involved in drugs. You know your son, so you know if he can cope with the challenges of being alone in a world he doesn't know. I like the expert's advice to have a set thing to do for the first six months. Sounds sensible.

Not a good idea, rather do something because once the job search begins there is a strong possibility of him sitting at home for a year trying to get work and in that time he can fine tune skills if need be. In our day and age you can't afford a year off.

Good day concerned parent, I myself took a gap year after school ( I am not a boy, but several of my friends were) and I cannot begin to explain what a difference it made to all of us . It makes an enormous difference to your development to take this chance to reflect and figure out the next steps... All of us went to go work at a summer camp in the USA, which meant a structured period of work ( about 3 months) with like minded young people from all over the world. You do have to love kids though... we had oodles of fun. And then after the summer finished we used our pay to travel and gain some life experience before settling down. I honestly can say that now ( 10 years later and in a successful career as a project manager) I can truly say that many of my skills and character traits were built during my summercamp experience and travels... send him. The association is called "CCUSA" http://ccusa.com/

I did a gap year at 18. Turned out to be the best year of my life! Like the lady says, make the 1st 6 months structured, i.e stooge work, kibbutzes, pub work, teaching english etc. Line up the work before he leaves. Then, after that 6 months he'll probably have money saved and a pretty good idea of how wants to spend the other 6. Such a huge amount of my mates who went straight to varsity either flunked out or changed their degree, mainly because they just didnt understand what the world had to offer, and a gap year can focus your understanding of what you want to do with your life. And its a huge blast.

Anything that can happen overseas, can happen overseas as well. I am a South African living in America, and my 16 year old daughter want to go and study in Edinborough Scotland after school. It is scary to me, but hopefully we have reaised her properly. And in any case, the same God looking after her here, will look after her in Scotland as well. (If she goes.) I also grew up on a farm on a small town, (Those days!) Went overseas at about 35 for the first time. and it was brilliant. It opens your mind in a way that nothing else does. I have realised that a hardworking South African can outwork any nationality on earth. That banks in America are even worse than banks in SA... And I am now not worried to go to (nearly) any country. Worked in China, Philippines, Australia, America, Germany, Holland. Seen the Great Wall, Sydney Opera House, the Reichstag, etc etc. None of this would have happened if I hadn't overcome my initial fear to go overseas. The other alternative is to finish your studies here, and then work overseas for a while to work of the debt... But I really recommend him going over for some time. Structured is very good.

My 18 year old son took a gap this year. Fortunately it was through his school. An opportunity arose through his school in New Zealand fo a Gap student @ a boys private school. My son gets paid fortnightly and the school pays for his board and lodging with either friends, family or a host NZ family. My husband and I only agrred to the Gap Year because it was structured. My son coaches sport, tutors 1 on 1 in the classroom enviroment and helps out in the admin office when the kids are writing exams. My son is in the middle school, so he is with kids aged 11 & 12years old. I found the experienced has allowed him to grow and he is more assertive. You can make enquiries through Tutorworld. This organisation places gap students in the UK, Australia & NZ. Good luck!

why not he is his own boss,, he can do drugs here too,he wants to swim in the big pond ,now its up to him ,your job was done a long time ago,

Let him go. I'm 34 and regret every day of my life for not seeing the world after school. Now I'm just to busy at work and got way too many responsibilaties to do anything. I missed out on so much...

Not a good idea. After school about 30 of my classmates took a gap year, which turned into 2 years, then 3. Only about 5 of them actually returned and studied something or acquired some sort of skill. The rest just live off their parents. To have what basically amounts to a year long vacation, and then try to study again is not easy. Rather complete your studies and then do your gap year. With a better skillset you can then actually get usefull career experience and earn better money.

Let himgo...we are very sheltered in South Africa. i amsittin in Kathmandu right now and there are loads of backpackers aroundd that are your sones age. Go out and see the worl or he may just have the regrest many of my mates have...studied, got a job and then it became to difficult to leave. Buy a book called Working your way around the world. He will return wiser,maturer and with a broader outlook on life...but plan before you go.

I also have an 18 year old daughter that has taken the year off although she has not gone overseas. After 3 months the novelty of sitting around doing nothing began to wear off especially since she began to realise that a person actually needs money to be able to do stuff. So she went out of her own accord and found a job (not very well paying, but a job none the less). She has now realised that money just doesn't grow on trees and oddly enough how expensive things really are out there in the big bad world. She has also decided what she actually wants to study next year because up until the end of last year she was changing her mind every two months or so. She has also realised that she does actually quite like the independence that her little bit of money buys her and is even thinking of continuing to work and to do her studies part-time. Also, for a boy don't forget that up until about 18 years ago it was compulsory for them to do military service and that was a gap year in essence as well.

I can highly recommend a gap year, but he must just be aware to keep a level head. He will experience the first real freedom in his life, and how you have raised him will depend on how he deals with it. There is not much you can do but let him go and learn some life lessons, good and bad. It should make him a better stronger person, and for many people including myself, it is what defined my transition from being a boy into being a man. I can't recommend any companies, except perhaps to go to work at Camp Councellors (www.ccusa.com). I went to a school in the UK and it was an incredible experience. The advice given is correct, make sure he has something lined up prior to buying tickets and sending him off. Good luck.

My son took a gap year. He wanted to go to Africa. He applied and got a job with a big game hunter in Tanzania. In the end he stayed for 2 years. He came back speaking Swahili. He learned to work on Bakkies, build camps, make roads and build bridges across rivers and spend every day in the veld. He learned first aid and shot a buffalo at the age of 19. Presently he is 2nd year with his veterinary studies and plans to go back to Africa after his studies to be a game veterinary surgeon. We have taught our children from a young age to be independent. My oldest daughter is now in Jerusalem (2nd year) and is returning in December. It broadens their minds and set them on in life. They become mature and appreciate where they come from.

Send him to the armed forces!!!

My daughter took a gap year at 18 after high school and had wonderful experiences, came back much more independent and with a better understanding of what to do with her life. Make sure your son plans properly for what to do though. There are many volunteer organisations in various parts of the world where you can get free lodging, a bit of pocket money and serve a wonderful purpose helping others that are less fortunate. In the process , you grow into a better person yourself. Try the Camphill organisation. They use volunteers and care for mentally disabled people.

Very good idea, my daughter was lucky to get a UK working/holiday visa at the end of 2008 and has just spent 18 months in the UK, working and then travelling before returning home. Taking a gap year has been more positive than negative, she was extremely homesick but these 18 months did her the world of good. She now knows what she wants to study. I would definitely recommend it to anyone. We worked with OVC.

If he doesn't already have a clear plan in mind of what he wants to do with his life, then a gap year is an excellent way of experiencing life in the outside world. Of course there are risks, but in many ways, fewer than there are in Sunny South Africa. My son first got himself some hospitality experience and then applied for work on golf estates in the USA through Workaway International (You can do a Google search). He gets international experience, has become self-disciplined and independent, gets to meet people from all over the world, gets paid a salary (not much, but he also gets very cheap room and board) and works and lives in a safe environment. He has been doing this for two years now, turned 21 yesterday, and doesn't want to come home :-<. As seen in most of the other comments, there are many other choices too. As long you get your planning and preparation done, there is little to worry about.

Definitely the best thing both our kids did. They were earning some money, clubbing, had very little responsibilities and were learning a lot about life. After the gap years they were a lot more clear and focused on what they wanted to do with their lives. Afterall, university is a very expensive way of finding out what you did not want to become.

Go for the GAP!! Everybody needs an adventure in life. Think of all the things/places/people you want to see/meet/do and then do that. It must be structured, sensible and affordable. Drugs/alcohol/religion should be be taboo.

Hi I am currently working overseas and have seen so many people who wants to do a gap year first. My son would like to do the same. Although I am working overseas he is still in school in SA with my wife. I would recommend that they first complete their studies and then take a gap year. Wherever they go they could possibly get a job for themselves. The added benefit is that they now have the qualification and can continue working. Should they go on the gap year first, things might just turn out to be so nice that they do not want to return or their mind is uin a different state that they do not want to prceed with studying. My advice - do your gap year, but after you have obtained your qualification.

Gap Year info

Hey, Jesus took 18 years off (just what exactly was he doing in that gap period stated in the Bible from age 12 until age 30 - was he wandering the East gaining insight from their philosophy as some eastern schools of thought state?). So why shouldn't your son? Not your daughter though as the Devil will enter her. Hey - it makes as much sense as believing in a man on a cloud.

The key to your dilemma is to not simply let him go for a gap year, but for a 'structured' gap year. I would suggest you investigate an option such as the Rotary Youth Exchange Programme. Rotary is an international community service organisation and with its cultural exchange programme you attend school in a foreign country (this serves mainly as a stable base from which to get to know the people and culture - you don't need to pass any exams etc if you so choose!) and stay with 3 or 4 host families over the period of the year. This in turn allows you to get a number of different perspectives on the inner workings of family life in your host country. There are regular report-back sessions and youth counsellors are provided for added peace of mind. The other wonderful advantage of this programme is that there are anywhere from 30 or more students, from all over the world, in your host country. You meet, share experiences and become good friends. As a previous member of this programme I can attest to the fact that it helped me grow &amp; mature immensely while having fun and meeting wonderful friends - friends who are now a part of a network of contacts the world over.

Dear Annette Taking a gap year can work wonders if it is your intention to help him a litle to grow up and take care of himself. I completely understand you are carefull and not sure what to do. There are many options open to go overseas. Some are working holidays but expensive and unsupervised. Others are "closely supervised" work ! overseas.Whatever route you choose to take, make sure you do your home work. Check out an agent or employer and make sure they are legitimate, have an infrastructure, references, a trackrecord and are not a one man show. There are many scams, that take your money and deliver nothing or provide just no backup. Please feel free to visit our website: www.away2xplore.co.za as well as our facebook wall Facebook, away2xplore, dont just dream it, do it ! On the wall you find recruits currently overseas, recruits that have been over and new Aplicants. Our program is 9 years old and we offer fully sponsorred Work in America in traveling amusement parks. That means airline tickets and program fees are sponsorred by the American employer. Our program is not a holiday, but Work with long hours, dicipline and little time off and has made men of many boys, a little like the army, but much more fun. However, one of the conditions is that if he is accepted by us, he needs to complete the entire sesson of 8 or 9 months in America. Should you have any questions you are welcome to e mail us.

I would not recommend it - some of my fellow learners took their gap year while some of us went to study of find jobs. Mostly they loafed about for a few years overseas and wasted their parents' money and did get involved with drugs. Apparently some are still abroad for the gap 12 years later. Rather let your son study or work and let him learn to be a responsible adult. I wanted to au pair for a year after my university was done, but I am glad I rather entered the local job market. I have a susscesful career and it is thanks to hard work and study.

Hi Annette, I have 3 sons and only the youngest took a gap year, the older 2 choosing to study first. I can honestly say that the youngest is far more mature than his brothers were at the same age. He went to the UK at age 18 not having a clue what he wanted to do with his life. During his year there, he worked in a hotel &amp; promptly decided that the hotel industry was the way he wanted to go. Long story short, he came back, studied hotel management, was sent to a hotel in Dublin, Ireland, for his 6 month internship where he was so successful that they asked him to stay permanently. Now, 9 years later he is the hotel manager at the same hotel and has just received his Irish citizenship. It broke my heart at the time - he was my baby - but now the world is his oyster &amp; I'm proud to say, we didn't hold him back. The life experience cannot be bought - at age 18 he lived in hostels &amp; backpackers. At age 20 he shared an apartment with a room mate and had to budget for things like food, gas, electricity, water, etc. Let your son take a laptop over &amp; you can stay in regular contact via skype &amp; of course, sms's were a life saver! You won't be sorryif you let him go, and remember, if he hates it, he can always come back, although, don't encourage it too much - they should see it through!

It's a brilliant idea to let him go! I speak from experience with my sons. They all went to the UK with a friend/s - it's less daunting than going on his own - for him and for you, especially if you know the friends parents - you can stay in touch. Honestly, the life experience is invaluable. Dont' hold him back.

I recommend people complete their studies first (while their parents still have the means to finance them!), and (if possible) get 3 years working experience, and then the world's your oyster. If due to affirmative action you can't get a job here, go overseas then. Take your child on an overseas trip to a country like UK, US, Canada, Australia, New Zealand (or even more than 1 trip) even if that means you drive an old car. I travelled when I had money and it was much better. I then became a parent at 37.

I Went to study directly after school at my parents request and susequently did a course that I did not really want to do, after I finished the course I took a gap year. When I came back to S.A I went into a completly different career. Rather let him go so he can have some time to decide what he wants to study before time and money is wasted on something he's not really interested in.

My son decided to join 13th Floor for a gap year and not go straight to Varsity to do a degree in Animal Science. He has grown tremendously in spirit and in self confidence. The great thing though he realised that he'd much rather do medicine than Vet. This change would have cost me a fortune if it happenned later. I belive a semi structured or structured approach is the only way and not a freebee living off an allowance.

I agree - I took a gap year (After a year at varsity studying the wrong direction) and it did me the world of good. I strongly recommend it! Gives you a bit of a reality shock...

I have 2 children: a 28 year old daughter and a 25 year old son. Both finished school at age 17 and took a gap year. They didn't travel overseas but both decided, in that year, what they wanted to do with their lives. Wish that I'd had that option when I finished school.

Each year of work missed equals 1 year of salary depreciation ... better to get cracking earlier...

Both my daughters did structured gap years directly after school, the eldest one stooged in UK at a private school and benefitted greatly from the life experience, having to make her own decisions with regards to spending hard earned money, travel, dealing with visa issues and opening her own bank account, handling different situations out of her comfort zone. Currently the youngest (19 years) is in Sydney stoogeing at a school, enjoying the independence that a gap year can offer after an initial wobble in the beginning that was traumatic for both us and her. Her appreciation levels of what she has got back home and what this year has afforded her in ways of travelling and experiencing new culture and way of life. The opportunity to move freely and use all sorts of public transport and clubbing without the constant threat that maybe she would encounter here as a female. This has opened her eyes at the same time that the grass isnt always greener on the other side! As a parent I stress the importance of a 'structured' gap year, in other words a definite job finalized in writing before travel plans etc not a half hearted " I will work here there and everywhere'. overseas authorities are getting very strict with requirements. Record keeping and motivation by the actual individual that wants to do the gap, not parents doing all the leg work! This is not for the feint hearted and not CHEAP exercise, the planning and buildup can be can be very stressful. If no concrete job by the start of the matric year, forgetting about it, there is a lot of paperwork for SA passport holders. Staying in weekly contact via skype/facebook is vital even for the madly independent youngest who has it sussed - the extreme weather could be a simple stumbling block, do not under estimate homesickness but be rational and do not give in to demands of coming home at the drop of a hat, they will regret not having stuck it out. The gappies that have had great experiences talk about it for years to come and settle down well into teriary studies afterwards.

Travel is probably the best thing he could do - get exposed to different ideas and people! Just remember that the job markets are tight in many countries so if he can go with something setup that would be ideal. Just remember that his up bringing will keep him on the straight and narrow as these big cities are rife with drugs and nonsense but the positives far out weigh the negatives. I am in London now - we have been to over 20 countries now and I would really recommend it