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Anne Cawood


Posted by: Bonnie | 2010-09-21


10 year old experimenting with sex

I was recently confronted by another Mother, whose child (9) was sexually penetrated by my son (10), I am not sure if he understands what he has done, but I need to know if this is normal? He does not get it from home, we are very discreet, no sexual programmes in our home either. He was disciplined and said he would never do it again, should I believe him or take this further and get outside help. I am so disappointed and shocked!

Expert's Reply


Anne Cawood Anne Cawood
- 2010-10-07

This is a serious situation. At 10 a child is very much aware of sexuality. He needs adequate information about sex – this needs to be part of your relationship and communication with your son. It cannot just be a one-off input session. Children are very aware these days. The information comes at them from the media and technology. They talk at school – and often have no idea of the seriousness of sex issues. It is no use disciplining him – he does definitely need very firm boundaries – and to know that there are consequences for choosing unacceptable behaviour.

The other parent could lay a charge against your son – his behaviour is very worrying. I would suggest that you seek counselling from a well-qualified expert – for your son and for yourself. He needs advice, good sex education – and to know that what he did was inappropriate. Becoming too punitive could lead to your son trying to hide his behaviour – the sex curiosity could just go “underground”. Please do try and find counselling as soon as possible.

Also find a good book on sexuality for your son.

Good luck.

The information provided does not constitute a professional diagnosis of your problem. You should consult a health care practitioner, lawyer or other appropriate professional for formal advice. Parent24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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