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Anne Cawood

Question

Posted by: Anonomyous | 2011/08/18

Q.

Staying over at dad

I am a single mom with an 18month old. His dad and i disagree about the appropriate age for him to come visit alone. I stay in Knysna and his dad in Riversdale. I feel as he cannot talk yet, he wont tell him if something's wrong. He has asthma and needs constant observation. The other thing is that his dad only sees him once a month for less than a day. Is it unfair of me to feel resistant on sending him alone?

Expert's Reply

A.

Anne Cawood Anne Cawood
- 2011/10/03

Hi, It is difficult for me to comment on this - I need more information. Firstly, in order for a relationship to be built up, more than one day a month is needed. Do try to organise for more time eg at least two full days a month - before a sleepover can be introduced. Children do go to their "other" parent from a very young age - but again, the circumstances of each case need to be taken into account. It is not so much a case of whether he can talk and tell you if something is wrong that will determine the issues - it is that he has a positive bond with his Dad. And to develop this bond, more time will be needed. I hope you can find a way to encourage more time between father and son. Good luck


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