Belinda | 2008/11/07
mixing with the wrong friends older than her
My daughter is always mixing with the wrong people she is only 13yrs of age. I am a single parent getting no surport from her father financial or being there for her. She is being seen by people always meeting this older guy, 16yrs. I spoke to her on several occasion about this guy but she just dont stop telling lies. She came home the other night with a love bite in her neck. She is looking at me and telling me there is nothing in her neck. I almost murder her. What can I do to get thru?
You clearly have a very difficult issue here. Once a child reaches 13, it becomes very hard to get the discipline right. Effective discipline of a Teen really does need the basis of a positive relationship between the parent and the child. If this is negative, it is best to try to work on improving this - and this means making time to listen to her, spending some time together (although often, by this stage, they really do not want to!)Sitting with her to make clear, consistent rules and establishing age-appropriate boundaries.
At this time, she needs to be told what the consequences for breaking the rules will be. It is no use yelling or imposing harsh and punitive consequences - she will only become more rebellious and the power struggles between you will get worse.
The usual response of a child when the parent is angry and accusatory, is to tell a lie - and then a terrible vicious cycle is established.
I would recommend that you try to get hold of a copy of my book "Teenagers Need Boundaries" - as I think this will really help you - and/or to seek counselling from a parenting expert.
I do hope that you manage to find some solutions before she is too much older.
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