6 ways to kill the mommy-guilt
We carry around endless things for our kids, but we also tend to lug around an added but invisible bit of extra luggage: guilt. Why?
We carry around endless things for our kids, but we also tend to lug around an added but invisible bit of extra luggage: guilt. Why? (iStock)
1. Focus on the positive aspects of your circumstances.
For example, if you work full-time, remember that it is through working full-time that you’re able to afford to send your daughter to ballet classes, or sign your son up for horse-riding lessons. Remember too, that a recent study found that children of working moms fare just as well at school as children of stay-at-home mothers.
2. Communicate your feelings with the people you trust.
Whether you talk to your partner, family or friends, talk about your feelings – with people who love you.
3. If you find yourself overwhelmed, do not be ashamed to ask your GP to refer you to a therapist.
There is no shame in therapy – rather, a willingness to attend therapy shows you are strong enough to want to work through your emotional turmoil.
4. Create time for yourself – and make sure it’s guilt free.
Whether it’s a weekly hobby class or a day at the spa, schedule special time for yourself. Call on your support structure to handle childcare while you are busy taking a little time out.
You do not have to stay up until 3AM creating hand crafted Swiss rolls for the school cake sale to impress other parents. Your child will remember the day you went to the park and rolled in the crunchy leaves, rather than the confectionery you sweated over. Say no to things that take you away from your family time.
6. Create special family routines and events that focus entirely spending quality time together.
Ignore all chores for one day of the weekend, and focus entirely on having fun together.
Finally, remember that you are not alone in this space. Maternal guilt is an almost universal aspect of parenting – we all carry our own satchels of sadness at some point.