He stays with Mama
Why do so many women give up their children for a new man?
The dating game and single motherhood can be tricky. There are many things to consider and I hope my mamas out there are putting their kids first.

It’s a great feeling to have a partner, but not if it means you have to sacrifice your child.

I have seen a trend out there where mothers would leave their kids to be raised by their grandmothers or extended families when getting married to someone who is not the biological father of the child and I ask myself why?

Men come into your life knowing that you are a mother. At what point does a decision to leave the child behind come in? I strongly believe that if you want to build a life with me you should be prepared to take the whole package - and that is me and my son. He is not staying behind to be raised by anyone else other than me. No man can separate me from him.

At times cultural issues come to play but from the word go, as women we need to take and stand and stick with our kids. Should we decide to take the relationship to the next level, men need to know that the kids are coming with into the marriage.

In my case he is coming with, we are a package, we are together and no one can separate us. If the new man is not up to raising another man’s child then tough, he needs to embrace my situation.

Sometimes there are fears that the child might not be treated fairly or with love by the stepfather. I am sure we are wise and clever enough to notice any funny behaviour from the man during the dating stage. In other cases you have grandmothers who refuse to let go of the grandkids but I am sure a harmonious compromise can be reached.

I know of kids who resent their stepfathers because they feel that they took their mother away from them. It can also come across as if you chose the man over the child and it should not be the case.

At no point should the child feel less loved or neglected. As much we have our own lives as mothers and want to be in relationships, the kids should come first.

Are kids sometimes better off away from their mothers?

Read Parent24’s Comments Policy

24.com publishes all comments posted on articles provided that they adhere to our Comments Policy. Should you wish to report a comment for editorial review, please do so by clicking the 'Report Comment' button to the right of each comment.

Comment on this story
Comments have been closed for this article.


Want to know what your baby looks like and what you can expect at this stage?




Play creatively

Don’t let your little one’s frustration with wanting to ‘get things just right’ stop them from playing creatively.

See more >


Everything from parties to pre-schools in your area.