Longing for a mother’s love
It’s a sad thing when the family connection breaks down, says Masanda.
As my son navigates life I hope that I can be there to help, guide and celebrate moments together, good or bad. To get to the point where we never talk would kill me.

Talking to my friend Amanda, I was shocked to hear that she is not talking to her mother and it’s been years. The relationship is so strained that she no longer goes home.

Amanda has a daughter and the poor child is also missing out on her grandmother’s love – the cherished bonding moments they could have spent together. I cannot even imagine the loneliness Amanda is going through.

‘The one thing I miss most is going home to my mother,’ she says. ‘I wonder how it feels having a shoulder to cry on and experiencing unconditional love. In life there are certain things you cannot even share with friends but need a mother to share with. If she was dead it would have been better but I know she is alive but not acting like a mother’. How heartbreaking!

Different beliefs

The rift between them started when her mother joined a certain church which Amanda refers to as a cult because the parents in this church are told not to love their children as part of the rules of the church, which I found strange.

The children are encouraged to leave their homes to go live with the church leader. As children they later decided to join Christianity and leave this church and her mother told them to leave her house and never come back as long as they were still Christians.

Amanda is longing for her mother’s love because she still believes that there is a good person in her even in these tough times. What hurts the most is when she mentioned that she is not sure whether she still loves her as her mother because she has been through so much while her mother is still alive. She is very fortunate that her aunts are trying to close the gap by visiting them but the void can never be filled.

There are certain things we take for granted, including at times our mothers. This coming Sunday is Mother’s Day and I feel for people in this situation. I can imagine how difficult this day might be for them. I wish Amanda the very best in mending her relationship with her mother and may the mother realise that we can believe in different things but still live together in harmony. 

 How can rifts within families be healed?

Read more by Masanda Peter

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