Single parent dating rules
Dating as a single mother means being careful not to expose my son to too much, says Masanda.

Dating is a complicated matter, and even worse when you have a child. As a single mother I’ve always told myself that my son will and should be protected from my dating scene.

Yes, I am an adult and should be doing whatever I want to do as an adult but being a mother to my son is most important. I would hate to raise up my son’s hopes by having a male figure around whom he might be attached to but find that the guy is not planning to be around for a long time. I want to protect my son from unnecessary false attachment that might leave him hurt and confused.

As single parents I think this is one area we need to tread carefully around. The father of the child might not be around and life goes on but you still need to respect your little ones and not expose them to different men or women causing further confusion in the process.

The man I will introduce to my son is the one I am sure of. Until I am sure that he into a serious relationship with me he has no chance of being around my son on a regular basis.

I am a mother to my son and would like him to respect me. Having him remember me as a mom who brought different men in the house is not one of the memories I would like him to have of me. As young as he is, his dignity and respect is an area I would not like to tamper with.

Another scenario in single parent dating is that of the man thinking that they are doing you a favour because you have child as if you are ‘out of the market’, no longer desirable in the dating scene. Not all single mothers are looking for father figures for their kids and the child has his own dad, whether active or inactive.

My son is number one

My son is my top priority, the most important man in my life, and I need to see to his needs first. I might not be able to honour a date at the spur of the moment since I might need to arrange a babysitter for that evening. Unfortunately some things might need to be planned way ahead of time – it’s my reality. Since I am a mother my time is important and do not make me feel guilty for attending to my little one’s needs first.

Playing open cards from the word go will help with the situation. Letting the potential partner know that you are a parent helps so the other party knows what they are getting themselves into. 

Can you balance dating and parenting? What’s the secret?

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