Readers share their thoughts and experiences with us.
Having a mixed-race child surely comes with its ups and downs, Estrelita Moses found this out the hard way, from snide remarks to racist comments. We share your responses to her story.
"I too had that problem of people calling me the maid"
Anonymous wrote: "I am a black woman married to a white man. My son was born with straight brown hair, pale skin colour similar to his father's, and blue/grey eyes. He also resembles his father more than me. I too had that problem of people calling me the maid when I went out with him, but one incident that I can never forget is when I was in Pick n Pay, shopping at the end of the month with both my husband and my then 8-month-old. The queues were long and I was making funny faces to keep my baby occupied. That was when a white boy who was with his father in the queue pointed at me and said quite loudly, 'Dad, I thought you said black people can't have white babies.' His father quickly hushed him and pulled him away from the queue before I lost sight of them in the mass of people around."
"I will not tolerate racism nor sexism nor any 'ism', actually"
Sevashni replied: "I am Indian and my husband coloured. Our kids are a beautiful shade of both of us. I am dark, he is very fair. When my daughter was a toddler, a coloured colleague at work asked me how I felt about the fact that my daughter is so fair and I am so dark! She wanted to know how people react to that, deh! Nobody asks about the difference in religion. I am Hindu and he is Christian. People make comments about what they see. One of my Indian friends made racist comments about coloureds at dinner – in front of my husband. I crapped her out right there and then and have not spoken to her for 6 months now. And she is supposedly educated!
"In our time in Cape Town, I have seen white parents welcome my kids into their homes for kids parties but they don't invite black African kids that are in the same class. I stopped accepting their invitations. I will not tolerate racism nor sexism nor any 'ism', actually."
"Sure do like those black men, don't you?"
Anonymous wrote: "I am a mixed-race woman who presents as white, married to an African man. When our eldest child (who has always looked very African herself) was about three months old, I went to a clothing shop. As I entered with my child in my arms, I passed an older, African woman. As soon as I passed, she began saying, "Sure do like those black men, don't you?" She continued in a crescendo until I could hear her even in the very back of the shop. Needless to say, I was mortified. However, it hurt me much more to think that other people's hurt and anger could continue to haunt my baby girl throughout her life. What fault did she have in the race of her parents?"
"Look at your daughter's hair, sies!"
Anonymous wrote: "My mom and aunt were accused of walking with the 'madame's child' when walking my blond-haired green-eyed brother to the shops during apartheid, and I thought it was ridiculous. Little did I know it would be done in reverse to me. I am not exactly very fair but I have white-like features, sharp nose, pink cheeks and freckles. I moved into a former white area with my obvious coloured husband and children and our neighbour peeked over the fence and told me, 'Why are you doing this to your people? We need to stay pure to make the white race bigger! They are taking over our country and you do this? Look at your daughter's hair, sies!' I was so shocked."
"What a beautiful mix!"
Anonymous wrote: "In fact my family has a similar complexion. Being coloured means that somewhere along the line our roots will show, whether of white descent or black, because that’s what we are all about. My mother-in-law is extremely pale skinned, her grandfather was white. My mothers’ great granny was a black woman. So while my brother is darker than us, we look mixed Indian/coloured from my fathers’ family's side. What a beautiful mix!
"So my five-year-old, Bryce, was certainly a surprise. People would look at us in the mall as if we had kidnapped him. He is pale skinned with beautiful blonde/brown, straight hair. He often complains it doesn’t spike like his brothers'! Some people later revealed to me that they thought his father was white. The Chinese absolutely loved him, thinking he was Chinese – he had such narrow eyes as a baby."
There was also some great feedback on Facebook.
1. Your child is human.
2. I'm a proud Nana.
3. Your son is gorgeous.
4. Cherish and celebrate your boy.
5. He is my pride and joy.
6. Ignorance is bliss.
7. Is she the nanny?
8. Who cares, we love each other.
9. Times are changing.
10. I'm mixed race.
Do you think there is still too much taboo around having mixed race kids? Send us your stories and comments to; firstname.lastname@example.org we might publish your response.