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In response to "Only one of us is allowed to freak out at a time" and other priceless advice for couples parenting in their 30s and 40s, one dad wrote in to share what's proved most helpful as a parent in the same boat, and we're sure you'll find his advice both amusing and useful.
Did you become a parent after 30 or 40? What's your advice? Share your tips with us, and we could publish your mail. Anonymous contributions are welcome.
"My wife and I got married in 2018, both of us 34, our baby boy was born in January 2019 and just started teething... joy!
"We both have pretty demanding jobs, I'm a web designer/digital marketer and she is a conveyancing secretary. Exhaustion often rears its fat ugly head and you feel like a herd of overfull cows just took a stroll across your face.
"With us, the tag team thing works best, for example when he wakes up in the evening, I start warming the bottle while she quickly changes him, while the bottle is warming I will normally take him and she hops back in bed. She then feeds him, I burp him and get him to sleep.
"With him teething now, we spent the past 4 months working on getting right has gone to pot, there is more crying, his appetite has been affected and the number two deliveries are also out of sync as a result of mild constipation.
"With him teething now, our entire routine (which we spent the past 4 months getting right) has gone to pot, there is more crying, his appetite has been affected and the number two deliveries are also out of sync as a result of mild constipation.
"My advice:
"Find your natural rhythm as parents and keep communicating, having a kid changes a lot of things. The rhythm you had before? Forget it. You need to find a new one. The biggest factor in getting that rhythm right is to keep communicating.
"Be patient, not just with your little one but with each other. I'm a natural problem solver, I want to solve problems quickly and efficiently, not being able to do that quickly for my son frustrates me. I quickly learned this is the wrong approach, you need to stay calm and not freak out at every 'whaaa' you hear.
"Lastly, make time to enjoy it together, that little bundle grows up quickly, and if you are both working parents you might miss certain milestones, make time in the evenings and on weekends to catch up, kick back and smile together."
- Edward, Port Elizabeth
Chat back:
Did you become a parent after 30 or 40? What's your advice? Share your tips with us, and we could publish your mail. Anonymous contributions are welcome.
