How to tell an infertile friend that you're pregnant
Falling pregnant is an exciting time but how can you tell your friend who is struggling with infertility?
You tell those closest to you, but then there's that friend or couple. The one you've spent so many months with helping mop up her tears, feeding her chocolate and telling her that next month will be her month.
So how do you tell someone you care so much about that you've 'jumped the queue'? That you're pregnant but she remains without her much desired baby?
For your friends or family members that are battling with infertility
, your pregnancy announcement may be a painful blow to them. When someone is dealing with infertility, every pregnancy announcement reminds them of what they are unable to have.
Some couples that have been trying for a baby for longer than it’s taken other couples to create an entire family - and it can feel very unfair. Many men and women feel completely isolated or somewhat left behind as their friends move into the family phase of their lives.
“As a company that produces Prelox, a supplement for male infertility, we have an acute understanding of the fact that infertility is a great life crisis that needs to be addressed with kindness, compassion, and thoughtfulness.” says Edward Haefele, Brand Manager at Lamelle Pharma.
He continues, “Given this scenario among your friends, we advise that you take a little time to consider how to tell those friends about your pregnancy. We have thought of some useful hints to help you break the happy news to your friends while still being sensitive to their emotions.”
1. Let your friends be the first to know
Don’t make a make a broad announcement on social media or in front of a big group of friends or family before you let them in on your secret. This will enable your friends to process their emotions first and not feel blind sided or unprepared for the announcement in a public setting.
2. Don't hide it from your friends in an effort to protect them
If your friend finds out that you've kept it from her, she won’t feel protected; she may feel betrayed.
3. Be very gentle when you tell your friends
You might even tell her over the phone or in an email so she can react the way she needs to. This will help her to feel what she needs to first. This is not about you or her not being happy for you, so try not to be upset. Understand that your pregnancy reminds her of her own loss.
4. Don’t put pressure on your friends
If they don't call you back or talk to you for a week or so, just check in with her via email or text. Give them a little time and space.
5. Don’t focus purely on babies when you talk to her
It’s understandable that it is the centre of your world right now and without a doubt your friends are happy for you, but taking about babies 24/7 only serves as a constant reminder of their own battles. If your friends tell you that they wants to know and wants to talk about it with you then by all means, do it. Let her take the lead in how much or how little she wants to know.
6. Be patient and kind
Just be patient, kind, understanding and open. Tell them that you are there for them and remember to do nothing more than just listen. Whatever you do, don’t try to give advice. Women who are dealing with infertility know way more about getting pregnant than women who get pregnant after 1-6 months of trying.
7. Invite them to the baby shower but give them an easy out
A mistake some often make is not inviting their friend or relative to the baby shower. It's true that baby showers are often difficult for the them, but not being invited is also painful. Instead, invite them, but be clear that you understand if she'd rather not attend or wants give a gift at a later time.
Prelox® is a patented blend of Pycnogenol and L-arginine designed to actively treat male infertility. For further information visit www.2tostartafamily.co.za or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
How would you break the news to your friend struggling with infertility?