Making a baby, lazy sperm and all
Doing it on demand does NOT make you feel like a porn star, says this dad.
Our daughter (Abby, now 3) was born and life was good. We had always decided that we wanted to have 2 children, but also were dead happy that we at least had one. If anything should happen that would not allow us to have a second, well, many people don't even have one.
After 2 months of trying, things were starting to get a bit stressful. I felt that I now had to do it on demand, which is NOT like being a porn star might I add.
I decided to have myself checked out. This is something that I feel that all men should have done anyway. There is definitely a stigma attached to guys with inner working issues. It's not discussed and mostly gets pushed under the rug.
I made a booking for a full spermiogram as well as a blood test. I was told to refrain from having intercourse for 3 days, (basically to arrive fully loaded). Walking into the men's clinic there were already a few guys in there who were nervously looking around, trying not to make eye contact, cause we all knew why we were there and what we were going to be doing a few minutes after walking through the back doors.
I had some blood drawn and was then handed the CUP. I had seen enough movies and documentaries on TV to know what was coming (excuse the pun) next. I was lead through into a small bathroom and said when I'm done to leave the door open and my sample on the sink. (huh? No magazines, no stimulation, I HAVE TO DO THIS STANDING UP??).
I smsed my wife at this point to voice my disapproval, but was sent a few words of encouragement. So, skipping the gory details, I walked out there, no stumbled out of there is a better word (as I was on a buzz of note). I'm sure that the guys in the reception noticed that I went in with my shirt sleeves down and walked out with them rolled up. I was told that my doctor would call me with the results.
I walked out into the sunlight a free man, albeit a bit woozy.
My wife's gynae called a few days later and asked to see both of us. I couldn't sleep or eat, I just wanted to know what was wrong. After going in, I was told that we were very lucky to fall pregnant with Abby as my swimmers were pretty lazy and the chances of falling pregnant were less than 5%.
Kind of like Mars having to be in line with Venus while Halley's comet does a flyby at the same time. I was shocked to say the least, you always think that it can't happen to you. It took a day or two to sink in that the problem actually lay with me. I wonder how many guys don't have this done and keep on blaming their wives?
We were told try for another 2-3 months and then have a look into other options.
At this stage I had two choices, sulk and beg for 2-3 months to go by and go the other route, or sit down and talk with my wife about how I was feeling. I chose option 2 as we have always spoken to each other about our feelings. We got rid of the schedule, got rid of the demands and had FUN. Our relationship at this stage could be compared with where it was when we first met (almost 9 years ago). I wanted her all the time and now that the urgency was taken out of it, we enjoyed each other more as well.
A few weeks went by and my wife told me that she's late… almost by 3 weeks. We did the test at home and it came back positive, an appointment was made to make sure for 2 weeks later and after the visit we were shown our peanut. I came thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to crying and squeezed my wife's hand. Obviously getting rid of the stress and having fun had a lot to do with it, we always believed in ‘if it's meant to happen, it'll happen’.
We're currently sitting at a little over 12 weeks and more than likely at the next check up we'll be able to see the sex.
Have you been through the sperm sample experience? Do you think men are not tested for fertility issues often enough?
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