Men do yearn for children
There comes a time in men’s lives when they start to long for fatherhood, says a wanna-be dad.
In my 20s I was sure I did not want children. I thought babies were noisy little creatures, with runny noses, who puked stale curdy white stuff on my clothes. To say nothing about them wetting my trousers every time I held one of them. Why would I torture myself by having one of these irritating little creatures in my in life 24/7?
I even considered having a vasectomy. I could not imagine spending at least 18 years looking after a child. Thinking about that 20-something year parenting responsibility left me feeling tired.
I blame these views partly on some men who were in my midst in my youth. I’d hear them say babies were for women. The men talked about how, if a husband wanted to get his wife off his back, he’d give her a baby to divert her attention. So that’s what babies were for, my inexperienced mind concluded. Now I see how skewed a view of marriage and parenthood those men had!
To convince myself I’d made the right choice I befriended couples who did not want children. They spoke of how they would never bring children into this unkind world with so many wicked people. They talked of how children were unruly and ungrateful these days even after all their parents had done for them. I saw how the childless wives were intoxicated by their husband’s love and vice versa. Without any distraction from parenting these couples had all the time in the world to mesmerise each other. I liked what I saw.
Any female whom I dated was given an ultimatum: no children or you can’t have me, take your pick.
All this happened before the yearnings for fatherhood s hit me hard. In my 30s I’ve transformed from a man who wanted nothing to do with children to someone who can’t wait to be a father.
I’m now the doting uncle who does not mind holding the baby a little bit longer. The nosy little creature with a runny nose and a propensity to puke white stuff now fascinates me and ignites strong paternal feelings in me which I never knew existed. Every sight of a father holding his baby has become a reminder of what I’m missing out on. I’m grateful I never went ahead with that vasectomy. I’m yearning for a baby.
I know that this world is not the safest place to live but if my parents were so pessimistic about that I’d not have been born would I? So why let other people’s unkindness deny me of the privilege of fatherhood. I’m going to have that baby.
I’ve already made up my mind what sort of father I’ll be: hands on, a loving metro dad, and I am to be a blessing to my wife and child.
I’ve had a taste of fatherhood by taking care of my little nieces and nephews it’s now time for little one. I’m more patient and understanding than I was in my 20s. Less selfish too. I’m convinced I’m ready for fatherhood.
When is a man ready for fatherhood? Add your views below.
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