Viva! sexless conception
Marlon looks forward to a future where human breeding gets less messy.
(Robyn Abrahams)
Michael Jackson’s biography, after he’s moved on to the big Neverland ranch in the sky, will be an all-time best-seller for many different reasons. Millions of black people will want to know just how the hell he became white. Millions of white people would want to know the same, so they can stop black people from finding out the secret. But the reason I’d buy the book is ‘cos I’d like to know just how he managed to have three children without the “hassle” of having the mothers tagging along.

I’m sure money played its part, but let me brutally honest and say that I don’t blame millions of women who have babies and never tell the father. If I could have had my kids without having to inconvenience their mothers, I probably would. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a perfectly good relationship with my kids’ mothers. It’s amicable and its all about the kids, as it should be.

But imagine, you could go to an egg bank, order, let’s say, a combination Jolie’s looks, Michelle Obama’s brains, Madonna’s attitude, J-Lo’s posterior, Tina Turner’s legs and Mother Theresa’s good nature. Mix it all up with your own jizz and insert into an incubator a la Sarah Jessica Parker. And nine months later you collect your package without ever having met the mother or mothers in this case.

Sound like pie in the sky to you? Well, I have a sneaky suspicion that reproduction in the future ain’t going to be a whole lotta fun. Though I’m hoping parenting will be awesome, if only because men and women would then make conscious and informed decisions about becoming parents.

Imagine for a moment, sex, the act of sex, without the feelings and sensations, the orgasm. It’s a creepy disgusting act, inserting an appendage into a lubricated slot, both of which have also been designed to rid the body of waste! Euuch! Which is why the big guy made it feel so good, so we would do it all the time.

Animals go into heat for a while because they know how disgusting it is and they made a deal with the big guy just to do it for a few weeks in the year and ensure the survival of the species.

I’m guessing that in the not too distant future, while we’ll still have third-world poverty and insane birth-rates in rural China, we will also have designer babies without the help of a willing female, or male for that matter. Much less messy...

Do you agree with Marlon that sex is a messy way to make babies?

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