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Adopted son dumped after 9 years

 
Parents arrested after attempting to return adopted child to state officials.
By Scott Dunlop

Pic: Shutterstock

The adoptive parents of a child adopted at three months have shocked a community by attempting to give him back- at nine years old. The couple are now facing abandonment charges and non-support of a minor after they tried to hand the child back to the authorities in Cincinnati, US, according to The Stir.

"Behave, or it's back to the home for you, kid..."

They may even be sent to jail for their parenting fail which they blame on the boy and his unwillingness to be helped with his alleged aggressive behaviour.

While the news story is shocking, it echoes the unspoken thoughts of many parents who have reached the end of their tether and wish they could simply cease being parents. That said, it is appalling that the child was sent to live with adoptive parents who clearly weren’t equipped for the long haul. Adoption activists are livid as the case sends out the message that adoption is somehow impermanent.

Another issue is that the child may be sent back to these parents after their case is resolved- parents who don’t have his best interests at heart, although it is to be hoped that the family would receive extensive counselling in order to cope with any behavioural issues the child may have as well as their own inability to cope.

Coping mechanisms

If you’re feeling like you can’t cope anymore, what do you do? It’s easy to feel out of your depth with a child who challenges your ability to parent. In the case of a child with special needs, for example, caregivers may experience fatigue from the sheer energy and effort required in caring for the child.

Parents of young children often run on empty: Sleep deprivation may be something people joke about to parents of babies, but at its worst the symptoms mirror those of depression and even mental illness.

A tricky toddler or teen is just as challenging and can filch the joy out of the parenting experience.

If you feel that you aren’t coping, you could chat to your partner, friends or family. Ask for help, even if it feels demeaning or humiliating. Consider restructuring your life in such a way that you have time to recharge your batteries by shaking up your routine, and learn the danger signs or triggers that you may be losing it.

If you know of someone who isn’t coping, you could offer to babysit their child in order to give them a break, even if all that parent wants to do is sleep during that break.

Parenting isn’t always fun, but it is a lifetime commitment.

Read more on adoption:

Is it safe to arrange a private adoption?

How to find your birth parents

When adoption goes wrong

What frustrates you most about parenting?

Read more on: parenting issues  |  adoption
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