Adopted son dumped after 9 years
Parents arrested after attempting to return adopted child to state officials.
By Scott Dunlop
The adoptive parents of a child adopted at three months have
shocked a community by attempting to give him back- at nine years old. The
couple are now facing abandonment charges and non-support of a minor after they
tried to hand the child back to the authorities in Cincinnati, US, according to
"Behave, or it's back to the home for you, kid..."
They may even be sent to jail for their parenting fail which they blame on the boy and his unwillingness to be helped with his alleged aggressive behaviour.
While the news story is shocking, it echoes the unspoken
thoughts of many parents who have reached the end of their tether and wish they
could simply cease being parents. That said, it is appalling that the child was
sent to live with adoptive parents who clearly weren’t equipped for the long
haul. Adoption activists are livid as the case sends out the message that
adoption is somehow impermanent.
Another issue is that the child may be sent back to these
parents after their case is resolved- parents who don’t have his best interests
at heart, although it is to be hoped that the family would receive extensive
counselling in order to cope with any behavioural issues the child may have as
well as their own inability to cope.
If you’re feeling like you can’t cope anymore, what do you
do? It’s easy to feel out of your depth with a child who challenges your
ability to parent. In the case of a child with special needs, for example,
caregivers may experience fatigue from the sheer energy and effort required in
caring for the child.
Parents of young children often run on empty: Sleep
deprivation may be something people joke about to parents of babies, but at its
worst the symptoms mirror those of depression and even mental illness.
A tricky toddler or teen is just as challenging and can
filch the joy out of the parenting experience.
If you feel that you aren’t coping, you could chat to your
partner, friends or family. Ask for help, even if it feels demeaning or
humiliating. Consider restructuring your life in such a way that you have time
to recharge your batteries by shaking up your routine, and learn the danger
signs or triggers that you may be losing it.
If you know of someone who isn’t coping, you could offer to
babysit their child in order to give them a break, even if all that parent
wants to do is sleep during that break.
Parenting isn’t always fun, but it is a lifetime commitment.
Read more on adoption:
Is it safe to arrange a private adoption?
How to find your birth parents
When adoption goes wrong
What frustrates you most about parenting?