'I told her to use the morning after pill'
Should a man have the right to tell his sexual partner to use the morning after pill?
By Masanda Peter
A male friend said this to me the other day citing that his moment of passion while drunk turned into him having a baby with a woman he did not like.
Article originally in Parent24
He did not want to pursue a relationship with this woman and theirs was only a moment of sexual desire after a night of fun in a club. He says the condom broke during their sexual encounter and he asked her to use an emergency pill (the morning after pill) in preventing pregnancy. The woman said she would.
He was surprised and shocked when the girl later mentioned to him that she was pregnant with their baby. This is the baby he did not want and one he even ensured would not exist. When he didn't want to be involved in the upbringing of this child he was accused of being a cruel father. He doesn't understand why he needs to be forced to take care of this child because he made it clear to the girl that she needed to use an emergency pill.
A tough one indeed. Maybe the girl did use the emergency pill and it didn't work or she didn't use it at all, one may never know the real truth.
Trapped into being a dad
There are other cases where I am astonished by a man saying that he was trapped into having a baby. In most cases baby making involves a man and a woman and sex is involved. Cases that shock me are those of men who do not use a condom with a woman and then mention that they were trapped into having a baby.
One cannot just assume that the girl is on contraceptives. If you are going to leave the responsibility of preventing a woman from being pregnant up to her alone then you are responsible for the child coming into this world. Both sides need to take responsibility and we need to not leave that to the woman only but we still find that happening.
The mind-set out there needs to change because a moment of passion can change your life forever and even more so when you have a child with someone you do not even know that well.
Who gets punished?
If the baby has already been born then can one really reject the child because one feels forced or cheated into being a parent? Does the fact that this is your flesh and blood not count even though you might not like the mother of the child? Maybe the man is angry but up until when are you going to punish an innocent child?
In the case of my friend he finally accepted that the child was not going anywhere and he stepped up and is now an active father who dearly loves his child. His parents were welcoming of their grandchild and that helped. He still does not see eye to eye with the mother but he acknowledges his child and has formed a great relationship with his son and they are putting aside their challenges for the benefit of the innocent soul.
Yes, it is a moment of passion but both sides need to take responsibility. Children deserved to be loved no matter how they come into this world.
Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.
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