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When are you making me a grandparent?

 
Some parents put too much pressure on their own kids to have babies.
By Masanda Peter
Article originally in Parent24
There are many reasons for people becoming single parents but one I find quite interesting is that pressure from their parents on some single women to become mothers makes them choose to become pregnant.

A friend of mine dreads going home or having a chat with her mother because her mother always asks her when she is going to make her a grandmother. She is not in a stable relationship and is not planning to have a child yet but the pressure is becoming a bit too much for her. So much so, that she is considering having this child so that her mother can be happy and stop nagging her. I do not think that this is the right way of doing things but that is my opinion.

There goes that ticking clock...

39-year-old Linda has finally decided to have the child much to the relief of her family. She also delayed having a baby hoping that she would first get married and then she can have a child but this was not to be the case. Her biological clock was ticking she then had a baby and is happy that she is a mother. Her family had been concerned that she would be unable to conceive children.

Before you judge

When we look at single parents I think it is important that we do not only see them as people who were “careless”, resulting in the situation they find themselves. Some are divorced mothers, some single parents were in stable and committed relationships and once the child was born things fell apart. Some single mothers have waited in hope that they will find a man who wants to settle down with them, but then discover some men are into playing games. In this case, since they want children, they go ahead- even in these bleak and uncertain circumstances. Some parents put pressure on them and in that case I guess it has become plausible that some women will never see the altar and it is therefore quite acceptable that they should have children out of wedlock. These days women complain that men do not want to commit and this complicates things – the woman is ready to settle down and have kids but the man on the other side is not ready to settle down.

I think families need to take it easy on those who are delaying their journey into motherhood. Some women are willing to wait and do not want to be single parents but then the pressure can be too much and they find themselves giving in to it. These women say that it is even worse when their younger siblings are getting married and having children before them. I hope parents can understand that we all have different journeys in life. Stop putting pressure on your sons and daughters to have children!

Read more by Masanda Peter

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.

Did your parents put you under pressure to have children?


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