Gay baby daddy
What goes through the mind of a gay man asked to be a sperm donor?
It’s the usual East Village coffee shop prattle as I meet my friend, a girl, for a much-needed catch up. Usual until a certain point, that is - the point where she proclaims to have dated pretty much every single straight man in New York, and that since she just turned 30 (it was actually 31 but I wasn’t going to point that out to her) she wanted to look seriously at having children. Yes: children. Women have that biological clock I keep reading about - the first thing that comes to mind is a hysterical Marisa Tomei in “My Cousin Vinny”.
Article originally in Parent24
Lisa (her name has been changed of course) long-windedly talks about how although she hasn’t found a husband, what she has found is me. My sperm feels complimented of course. And as any respectable gay man I justify her decision with some nods to all my absolutely excellent qualities I have cultivated for the last (not-too-many) years. Well it can’t just be for my height (or could it?) And it is definitely not for my South African residency. So I will just go with height for now.
The borough of Manhattan has, according to The Daily Mail, almost 54% females. But of these, how many who are even dating, going out or actually broody? Other dubious statistics online show that the greater New York (I assume we are leaving Jersey out of the debate, thanks, Snooki) has a ratio of 6:1 women to men. I understand Lisa’s dilemma and a combination of my narcissistic ego and my desire to help everyone allows for an immediate “Of course I will be the father of your child”. How much responsibility I am going to carry I can worry about later, I rationalized very quickly.
Taking responsibility for yourself
Modern society has this amazing way to transform and gift individuals with an unprecedented way to “curate” their lives. Dutch trend forecaster Li Edelkoort recently told me that curating of people’s lives is the whole future and it inspires me to think how bravely, and boldly, we can manage our own lives with no apparent harm to others in a responsible and acceptable way such as parenthood via sperm donation.
My friend Lisa embraced her career with care, and has a choice, as opposed to 50 years, and certainly even 10 years, ago to be single mother who can have it all. Germaine Greer will be pleased and as “Vagina” hits the shelves in paperback Naomi Wolf will be gratified that women are taking their lives into an independence contrary to The Atlantic article “Why women still can’t have it all” I read angrily which asserts that women are still incapable of asserting themselves in their chosen roles. Responding to that article Hilary Clinton said, in this month’s Marie Claire US, “...but of course women can have it all and professional women don’t have to choose”. This I naturally share with total supportive glee.
“But then... Oh really?” is all I could mouth: It turns out I’m in the running- not THE selected baby daddy, but just in the running for now. Of course my natural competitive streak, which hopefully I can impart, ensures that I will not lose this contest.
Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.
Would you ever donate sperm to help a friend have a baby?