Doing a Rooney
Men who stray when their partners are pregnant are following an old, but ill-advised pattern, says our single dad.
(Getty Images)
As you’ve probably heard, all of England and the civilised world has its knickers in a knot because Wayne Rooney, the mercurial England and Manchester United striker has been accused of servicing a R11 000 a romp hooker for several months while his wife was pregnant.

Now, while the phenomenon of straying during pregnancy is nothing new, it does warrant a bit of contextualisation.

Some guys (I have to stress the some, because others don’t have a problem with this phenomenon) find the idea of being intimate with their partners during pregnancy ‘strange’ because her role changes from a woman to a mother, of his child.

This is a very real dilemma for some men. Because suddenly, the whole sexual context of who your partner has been up until now changes. You find it difficult to relate to her sexually because the idea that your child is developing inside her, and the way her breasts and body are changing to accommodate this development is very disconcerting to say the least. The thing to do is to discuss the issue with your partner.

You’ll be surprised to find that most women feel something similar. They don’t feel sexy, or as sexy as they used to. In some cases, when it’s their first time, they themselves battle with the transition from hot mamma to pregnant mamma.

Talk to each other about it and bravely forge on through the transition. Sex and being sexy with each other during pregnancy can be a very intimate and bonding experience between the three of you. I remember it well. There is a different dynamic during sex during pregnancy. The levels of intimacy and bonding moves up to a completely different level.

I remember having very strong bonding thoughts with my babies, while experiencing a unique kind of intimacy with my partner. The only way to describe it is like being let in to a place which is exclusively the domain of the mother. Like getting a free pass to the womb and in some ways having ‘direct’ contact with the developing foetus.

Rooney, bless his heart, is that all too common breed of Neanderthal man who probably wouldn’t dream of discussing his emotional roller-coaster on the subject with anyone, least of all his wife. Instead he finds it much easier to pay a hooker £1000 for a roll in the hay, and share a few laughs about it with his mates. Love has got nothing to do with it.

I have no doubt that he loves his wife and child as much as ever, it’s just that the idea of what I suggest has probably and will probably never cross his unevolved mind.

Do you think a woman’s pregnancy is an excuse for her male partner to stray?

Read more by Marlon Abrahams

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