Carrie just wants the baby to come even if it takes a walk up a steep hill while having sex and eating pineapple.
There is no home remedy for bringing on labour that actually works. Take my word for it.
I am now the dreaded “O” word (overdue). And my gynae is now planning the dreaded “I” word (induction). I have done my research and I know that an induction has many advantages (first and foremost that it gets the baby out!) But I also know that induction increases your chances of an intervention; be it an episiotomy or forceps, or worst case scenario a C-Section. And while I am totally pro-caesarean if it’s an emergency and necessary, my little heart really desires a natural birth if at all possible.
So now I’m weighing up pros and cons of induction, whilst at the same time fielding calls from everyone and the pope who are constantly checking in to see if there’s been any progress down South; and then kindly offering their sure fire method of home induction when they hear that nothing is happening. The call that takes the cake came from my sister in law yesterday.
Sister in law: Where are you?
Me: In Kirstenbosch Gardens
Sister in law: Are you having lots of sex?
Me: Yes, plenty
Sister in law: Right now?
Me: Uh, no. Not at this very moment
Sister in law: Why not?
Me: We’re in public. But we’re walking up a steep hill (thinking that would at least impress her)
Sister in law: (Clearly not impressed) Well go home right now and have more sex.
Then there was the slightly awkward call from my dad.
Dad: You know what you need?
Me: Let me guess. A pineapple smoothie? A hot bath? A glass of wine? A jog up a hill? A bounce on a trampoline?
Dad: No. I’ll tell you what you need. You just tell your husband that you need a good long ride.
Dad: Preferably on a bumpy road.
Me: Oh! That kind of ride. In a car. Yes of course that’s what I thought you meant!
So now I’m booked in for an induction on Tuesday night, and I’m just biding time until then. I’ve settled the issue in my mind, but there is still a twinge in my heart that’s hoping beyond all hope that the baby miraculously decides to make an appearance unprompted before then. But if it does it won’t be due to any home remedy. My tongue is raw from pineapples and other parts are raw from other suggested methods. This baby will have to come unprompted while I lie on the couch and do nothing. Or else, induction it is! Were you induced? Any words of encouragement for Carrie?