Sure it’s your child?
Why would a woman lie about her baby’s paternity?
In my community there is a joke that says a good number of first born children do not belong to their fathers. As much as this not fact, the joke shows that men are aware of paternity fraud and that they are at a disadvantage.
The phrase ‘paternity fraud’ describes a situation where a woman lies to a man that he’s the father of her child.
More than a million men in America are raising children not biologically theirs – unknowingly. So says research published in on menshealth.com
. Although there are no reliable statistics available in Africa I wouldn’t be surprised if some men are in the same predicament.
Why would a woman hide the fact that her unborn child belongs to another man? Fear is one reason. If a woman is in a permanent relationship she may be afraid to disclose her unfaithfulness to her partner because she knows she risks losing him. In my opinion men are less forgiving than women when it comes to unfaithfulness and a woman might fear for her and the child’s safety.
I would guess greed also has a part to play in this fraudulent behaviour. Some people must have everything: security and forbidden adventure. From Mr Security the woman gets a stable home life, while Mr Adventure (with his six pack and stamina) provides sensual fun and a baby as a bonus.
Unfortunately Mr Adventure will only be a temporary fling. When Ms Unfaithful realises that she’s expecting Mr Adventure’s child she knows that it will be in her best interest to lie to Mr Security that this is his baby. Mr Security will gladly accept the baby and give it a good start in life thinking that it’s his. Another man’s baby
I don’t mind raising another man’s child as long as I do so knowingly. If I found out that I was a victim of paternity fraud the hardest part for me would be to trust my partner again. It would be such a difficult situation for me – do I let go of a child who I’m now attached to?
If I keep the child do I want the biological father to have any role in the child’s life? Either way it’s a lose-lose situation. I lose my emotional investment. The child loses a daddy and the biological father loses a chance to bond with his child. The woman loses my trust and respect.
The following scenarios would ring alarm bells and see me demand a Paternity test.
- If my child resembles my wife’s ex.
- If a bouncing healthy baby is born after six months after conception.
- Family members constantly planting doubts in my mind saying ‘Who does this baby look like?’
The good news for men is that the numbers of women who commit paternity fraud are in the minority. I wouldn’t lose sleep over it. The chances of it happening to me are very slim. I hope.Have you ever had to ask for a paternity test?