Yes, I had sex!
If pregnancy proves one thing, it’s that you are sexually active.
(Shawn Benjamin)

I was not a virgin when I got married.

This will come as a shock to absolutely no-one, not even my mother. But somehow, even getting married was less of a mind shift than when the sperm and the egg knocked together.

I remember feeling a bit sheepish phoning and telling my parents that, within two months of my wedding day, I was pregnant.

Because let’s face it, when you have a positive pregnancy test, chances are (failing divine intervention or a highly unusual fertility procedure), you’ve had sex. I might as well have phoned my doting, but rather conservative dad, and said: ‘I’ve had sex, Dad!’

Walking around with a pregnant tummy, you can see in some people’s eyes a glint that says: ‘I know what you’ve been doing.’

The beauty and fecundity of pregnant women is a topic usually bathed in a slightly rosy glow, inspired by that one reported virgin birth.

But let’s face it, most of us get pregnant through behaviour more similar to Madonna, Lourdes’s mom, than to the Madonna, Jesus’s mom.

Older men especially manage to give a spin to seemingly complimentary things along the lines of: ‘you look so glowing’. Their real meaning is: ‘Hmm, I see you’re up for it. Maybe you would do it with me too?’

Pregnancy is the ultimate proof that you’re a sexual being, but it can be a pretty lean period as far as sexual desire goes, especially if you’re feeling like chucking your cornflakes most of the time.

Many women do report an increase in libido, particularly in the second trimester. A fair number also report the total lack of any sexual desire from the moment they realise what they’ve gotten themselves into. It’s a kind of subconscious: ‘I’m not doing that again, it got me into a mess of trouble last time!’

How did you feel about people knowing you’re sexually active?


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