Georgina Guedes was robbed of her last month of uninterrupted husband cuddles by a terrible affliction.
When I visited my gynae at about 7 1/2 months pregnant, I was having a bad week. I had a good and resounding gripe to her about everything that was starting to get on my nerves. The ankles were up there, and the inability to have a conversation and walk at the same time, or to find a comfortable position to watch Entourage on the sofa were all relayed.
‘Pregnancy is really only about the last six weeks,’ she told me, with less sympathy than I was demanding.
I went home, filled with a new determination to cope. After all, I had loved being pregnant, and I didn’t want the test of the last six weeks to bring me down. Whether it was my new attitude or a renewed commitment to the afternoon nap, I did find that things improved almost immediately.
But, that very same week, the snoring
started. When I laid me down to sleep, the bulge in my ankles would make its inexorable progress up my poor body and settle in my sinuses. Here, it would wreak havoc of such magnitude that the resulting snores drove my husband to near distraction.
He cannot cope with snoring. It’s not that he’s grumpy or intolerant, it’s just that the continuous rasp of laboured sleep breathing keeps him awake and there’s nothing he can do about it.
Initially, he tried waking me up to change position. This apparently worked about a quarter of the time. Unlike my husband who when he snores is amenable to being woken up and asked to change position, I became downright cranky.
It took about a week’s worth of convincing for me to believe I actually was snoring. Once I had accepted that my husband wasn’t making this up, I still refused to believe I was snoring that particular time. “I was still awake!” I would protest indignantly.
Sometimes, when my husband was patting my back and gently calling my name, I would snap, “Is this affection or the snoring problem, because I can’t tell the difference!” Grumpy, like only someone woken from a deep and snoring sleep can be.
Eventually, I told him to leave me alone, because once awake, the pressure in my bladder sent me to the loo, and when I came back I’d start snoring again anyway.
The only solution was to sleep apart. This was a terrible situation for a couple in their last month of being alone together before the arrival of a mewling newborn, but there was nothing to be done about it. Good man that he is, my husband would cuddle me until I fell asleep each night, and then return to my side every morning to cuddle me into wakefulness.
This didn’t help me get back to sleep at the seven or eight times I would wake in the night to go to the loo. My pregnancy- and sleep-addled brain would often offer the solution ‘go and climb into the spare bed with him!’, which always seemed like a good idea until I worked out how annoyed he would be to find that the snoring had followed him.
Sadly, there was no solution, and we spent our last month of nights alone together apart. Now that we are three, nighttimes are busier than ever, and no one’s getting much sleep at all. Georgina Guedes is a freelance journalist and new mother. The snoring stopped on the very first night after the delivery of her daughter. Her ankles have also returned to their former glory. The rest of her is going to take some time.
Did you suffer from snoring during your pregnancy?