Helpful or just plain rude? How do you feel about baby shower registries?
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While browsing the BabyCenter forums I came across this post:
"Seriously I had my first baby shower on Saturday and we haven’t received one thing off our registry. I'm a FTM so I don’t have anything at all in regards to essentials for baby. I am having another shower tomorrow at work and another one in 2 weeks. Really hoping that we get more things that we really need instead of more clothes. Trying to be positive about it."
According to the replies to this post there seem to have been many other baby registry posts like this one. It’s an American forum and maybe it’s a more popular practice over there but I found it to be a very strange thing to have a registry for a baby shower. You decided to have a baby, it’s a big responsibility and more often than not it’s a conscious decision that a couple makes, so therefore I feel it’s your responsibility to provide the essentials for your child.
I don’t think that baby registries are a big thing in South Africa yet. I know you can make one at Baby City, BabyGroup and Mr Price Home but I haven’t been to a baby shower yet where there was a registry.
My opinion about baby showers is that it’s a get together of friends and family to celebrate a new life coming into the world and a new chapter starting in yours. Guests shouldn't be told what to buy as a present is a gesture of goodwill, in fact, they don’t have to give you anything at all! I feel it’s a little rude to be upset that no one’s bought off your registry.
My baby shower is happening some time in the next few weeks and my mother asked me to make a list of things I wanted, which I was really uncomfortable with. I rather made a list of things that I hadn’t bought yet with the major caveat that people didn't HAVE to buy off of it and anything that was given would be appreciated. I would buy whatever we didn't get after the shower, it was my responsibility after all.
I understand my mother’s reasoning though. People often ask “What do you want/need?” and a list just helps them to decide. A registry, if you have one, should be there to make it convenient for guests but I don’t think that you should EXPECT that everything you want gets bought.
I asked our Facebook fans what they thought about baby registries and here’s what they had to say:
"I didn't have one. I prefer if people DO have one because I never know what to buy ito brands etc. Also, I wouldn't want to buy the same thing that 4 other people bought!" - Julia W
"I find its rude and demanding to have a baby registry. Just my 2 cents on the matter." - Razia K
"People never use it, a gift is a gift you can't force people." - Figgy M
"I had one and hardly anyone used it but I got everything I needed! Think it's a good idea to give others ideas on what you want" - Tarryn Vd M
"I didn't have a register at my shower friends could buy anything for my lil 1, but feel people should be free to buy your unborn what they think is best not what you request. That’s just wrong. It should be a gift from the heart." - Kerschia J
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By: Razaan Abader