It should be easy to keep a boy’s hair under control, but it isn’t.
For years I have been not only dad to my sons, but also occasionally their barber. Having never gone to hairdressing college
, this has led to some tragic mistakes. Fortunately, the pain has been mostly aesthetic.
You can learn from my errors, if you like (or just have a laugh at my expense) by finding out how NOT to cut a boy’s hair.
A boy named Shorn
At the time I was using clippers on my own remaining stubble, so it seemed like the quick and easy way to get a short, even haircut for my son. I didn’t realise how thick his hair was. Made it half way through his trim before the little motor seized, leaving him half-shorn.Demon barber?
I usually use my old sewing shears to cut their hair. Big, unwieldy things. With a moving target, it’s a wonder I have only once ever drawn blood, but my children will never let me forget it. “Remember the time you CUT ME WITH SCISSORS, Dad?” Sheesh. One little nicked ear, and you become some kind of homicidal Sweeney Todd of a barber.Nit nurse
Look, I find lice and nits
one of the most horrible parts of having kids in day care or school- the little critters are almost impossible to get rid of! (The insects, not the kids.) Still, it’s almost always better to persist with the shampoo and a comb (or oil and comb) as a treatment. Trying to cut out every tiny dot that may or may not be lice-related will result in the mangiest haircut imaginable. Your kid will look like a junkyard dog that has been dragged through razor wire. And it won’t get rid of the nits.
Life on the fringe
One thing I’ve learned at their expense is that I can’t cut a straight fringe. This is especially tragic when your teen son is trying to cultivate a Justin Bieber mop. We try and avoid zigzagged fringes by making a compromise. “Just short back and sides, Dad,” he’ll suggest optimistically, and I promise to do my best. My best being short back, sides, front and top.
That’s the word my sons dread most when having a haircut. Oops. I’m glad we don’t have one of those department store change rooms with wall to wall mirrors. That means I can get away with leaving the occasional bald patch. A good lesson here is that the words “don’t worry, it’ll grow back” offer no comfort to the victim.
The truth is, we’ve had some great fun cutting hair
in the garden. They’ll kid about collecting the offcuts and making a wig for me, and I’ll marvel at how big their eyes look after a snip. I may not be the best barber in town, but so far we’ve trimmed our way through childhood with lots of laughs and lessons learned. My daughter, for example, has learned to go to a proper hairdresser. Now, if they could just learn to sit still…
Do your kids like having their hair cut?