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24 hours of fun for kids- it shouldn’t be that hard to coordinate. Of course, if you are divorced, your special celebrations will be a little harder to put together, given all of the traditions, personalities and possible tensions.
Flashback: As a child, my family (my Mum, Dad and two brothers) would all load up the car and head for my aunt’s house and stay over. All the extended family on my mother’s side would come and join in for a few days of loving family chaos. None of the relatives, from the grandparents to the grandchildren were divorced (or single parents).
I’m divorced. So is my partner. Between us we have six children, although K’s are grown up, and her daughters both have daughters of their own.
We’ve both been divorced for a while now, and we're still adapting to extended family times.
With Christmas looming, our conversations are going like this:
What are we going to do on Christmas?
Well, my ex usually goes to her family on Christmas Eve for dinner, so I’m sure we can have the children on Christmas Day for lunch.
You sure? It’s not your “day” with them?
Of course- she’ll be happy to drop them for a few hours. You want to invite your kids over?
I don’t know what they’re doing- whether their dad has organised anything with them, or if they’ll go to their partner’s families.
And the rest of your family?
Well, that aunt usually goes to that uncle, but they’ll be going to his first ex’s family this year.
And your mom?
She likes to have a quiet Christmas with my step-dad, and my brother is newly married, so he’ll go to her family.
What about your bio-dad and your sisters?
I don’t know- I’m not sure if they know us well enough for us to join in their family traditions.
I’ll call my ex and see what she’s planning, so we can work around that. I’ll also discuss the presents at the same time, so we don’t duplicate.
And that’s a little bit what it’s like.
Fortunately, we’re all beyond arguing about it, and our main focus is to keep the magic of Christmas going for the children. They don’t deserve to miss out on a big family meal, along with Christmas crackers, silly hats and too much pudding, so we’ll make an effort to do something.
It does sting a little not to have my children wake up with me on Christmas morning, but they love it so much, that they’re happy to celebrate it twice.
Some divorced couples I have spoken to even meet and celebrate it together. Some avoid each other like the plague, especially at emotionally tense times like Christmas.
The grand tradition of a massive family Christmas is over for the time being- perhaps, as we look down the telescope of time, there will be a future of all of the children, their future partners and their own children all coming together, but, for now, we’ll be making the most of the loving family we do have.
How do you celebrate your divorced Christmas?
Flashback: As a child, my family (my Mum, Dad and two brothers) would all load up the car and head for my aunt’s house and stay over. All the extended family on my mother’s side would come and join in for a few days of loving family chaos. None of the relatives, from the grandparents to the grandchildren were divorced (or single parents).
I’m divorced. So is my partner. Between us we have six children, although K’s are grown up, and her daughters both have daughters of their own.
We’ve both been divorced for a while now, and we're still adapting to extended family times.
With Christmas looming, our conversations are going like this:
What are we going to do on Christmas?
Well, my ex usually goes to her family on Christmas Eve for dinner, so I’m sure we can have the children on Christmas Day for lunch.
You sure? It’s not your “day” with them?
Of course- she’ll be happy to drop them for a few hours. You want to invite your kids over?
I don’t know what they’re doing- whether their dad has organised anything with them, or if they’ll go to their partner’s families.
And the rest of your family?
Well, that aunt usually goes to that uncle, but they’ll be going to his first ex’s family this year.
And your mom?
She likes to have a quiet Christmas with my step-dad, and my brother is newly married, so he’ll go to her family.
What about your bio-dad and your sisters?
I don’t know- I’m not sure if they know us well enough for us to join in their family traditions.
I’ll call my ex and see what she’s planning, so we can work around that. I’ll also discuss the presents at the same time, so we don’t duplicate.
And that’s a little bit what it’s like.
Fortunately, we’re all beyond arguing about it, and our main focus is to keep the magic of Christmas going for the children. They don’t deserve to miss out on a big family meal, along with Christmas crackers, silly hats and too much pudding, so we’ll make an effort to do something.
It does sting a little not to have my children wake up with me on Christmas morning, but they love it so much, that they’re happy to celebrate it twice.
Some divorced couples I have spoken to even meet and celebrate it together. Some avoid each other like the plague, especially at emotionally tense times like Christmas.
The grand tradition of a massive family Christmas is over for the time being- perhaps, as we look down the telescope of time, there will be a future of all of the children, their future partners and their own children all coming together, but, for now, we’ll be making the most of the loving family we do have.
How do you celebrate your divorced Christmas?
