Is your family ugly?
Marlon contemplates ugly, inside and out.
(Robyn Abrahams)
I used to be very hung up on looks and appearance. I found it difficult to look past some one’s exterior into their heart or soul. Let me give you an example, I used to cringe whenever I saw a particularly aesthetically challenged American comedian on TV or in a movie. In my mind, she was the ugliest person on the planet. I’m not going to mention her name in case she decides to sue. I’m sure she’s a lovely person.

I must qualify this by saying that these judgement calls were made largely in my youth and before I became a parent. I guess I realised later on that dating a beauty queen on the outside did not necessarily mean that she was one on the inside.

Do you, or did you consider what your kids would look like before you swopped bodily fluids with your partner? They say women do it unconsciously. They (women) factor the genetics into the equation without thinking. In other words a woman chooses her mate, with her offspring in mind. I don’t think us guys have evolved that far, we’re still pretty much in it for the shag. And how important is the genetic make-up of your child? I mean if you had to choose the genes of your children, how important would looks, athleticism, intelligence etc be?

I say there are no ugly babies. Yes of course some babies are just weird-looking, like they have small ears and a big head, or huge ears and a non-existent nose, or…ag, I think you know what I mean.

I do believe there are dog-ugly adults and children though. And this has nothing to do with their looks, but everything to do with their conditioning and the way they’ve been raised. My concept of “ugly” underwent a radical change when my shallow values of what looks good was challenged by the beautiful examples of what is good as shown to me by my kids.

Sure we tease each other about how Hannah inherited her mother’s family’s huge ears, and how all my kids have inherited my Cape Flats nose (at least I know they’re mine, is my quick response), and how hopefully they won’t end up with aunty so-and-so’s big bum etc. At the end of the day I think genetics might be a nice advantage if you inherit some good physical genes, but the most important quality has to be a good nature and wholesome soul.

So what wonderful genes have you and your partner passed on to your kids?

Read more by Marlon Abrahams

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