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Parent24 : Preschool 2-6 : development behaviour : Boundaries for divorced parents

Boundaries for divorced parents

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Boundaries and consequences for kids are a challenge for divorcees.

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Divorced parents often struggle to agree on boundaries with their children. Partly because we all have slightly (or very) different ideas on what boundaries should be but more often it is because there is a level of competition and guilt between divorced parents.

It is common for one parent to break the rules in order to “stick it” to the other parent. Of course, this is only harmful to the child and not to the other parent at all.

Children of all ages need routine, boundaries and rules and these should have consequences if broken. In fact, it is not only children who need them but society in general. Try to remove yourself from the emotional standpoint of parenting and look at it this way:

If there were no red lines anywhere and people just stopped and parked wherever they pleased, there would be chaos on the roads.

Now let’s get back to our children and use a simple example.

So, when you decide to take a boundary and ignore it or bend it, simply to spite your ex, please DON’T. Think of the consequence for your child.

By Terri Lailvaux

Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.

Have you ever had conflict over establishing boundaries with your ex?