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“Don’t bring your kids to my house again”

 
What do you do when your friends ignore their misbehaving children?
By Masanda Peter
Article originally in Parent24
Some parents just can’t say no; they allow their kids to do whatever they want and find their bad behaviour amusing when in fact, it really isn’t.

Thuli, a mother of one, asked her friend never to bring her kids over to her house again because they were out of control and she saw nothing wrong with it. Her kids would jump on the couches, pull her flowers, play with her gym machines, run around and make a noise. Her friend wouldn’t be bothered and she decided to tell her that as much as she enjoys her company, her kids were not welcomed in her house. Thuli says that she has a child as well and understands that kids will be kids and they are not well behaved all the time but this was too much for her and her daughter would never behave like that in other people’s houses.

Seki is a new mom and she also had to tell her friend not to bring her child over. She says that when they visit he goes straight for the remote control and switches between channels, from there he goes and opens the fridge and grabs whatever he wants without asking.  A few minutes later he goes to the bathroom and plays with pieces of toilet paper.

All of this happens and the mother just sits and watches and not a word out of her, nor does she offer to clean up. When she asks him to stop, he screams and becomes aggressive and she worries for her newborn to be around this little “monster” as she calls him. She also asked the friend to make solo visits to her house and not bring her son over.

I know you might say kids will be kids but if you can see that your pets are being chased around the house for no reason and being abused, kids jumping on your white couch and your flowers are fast losing their petals while the parents watch then you need to intervene.

I know this can be quite uncomfortable but sometimes the parents seem helpless which confuses me. You see kids screaming at the malls or in restaurants, jumping on seats and in some cases disturbing the table next to them and some parents find this amusing instead of reprimanding the child. Yes, you do get “kid behaviour” but really a 7-year-old throwing things at your table and it’s supposed to be amusing? I find that really strange.

Thuli and Seki said that they could see that their friends were hurt by what they said but it was time to put a stop. They just could not take it and it was their space at the end of the day.

Kids do take chances and they will sometimes do things they aren’t allowed to do in their own homes which can be embarrassing. They like to push the boundaries and I guess it’s normal behaviour. We aren’t raising robots but what gets to me is when things get out of control and the parents do nothing. Seems like relations and friendships are risked sometimes – it’s a matter of your child or our friendship, not an easy one.

Have you ever asked any of your friends to not bring their kids over anymore? Was it well received?


Disclaimer: The views of columnists published on Parent24 are their own and therefore do not necessarily represent the views of Parent24.


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